Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven,God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him,resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudlypointed downward through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made!" Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?""It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.""Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth."For example,Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth,while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. And over there I've placed a continent of white people, while over here is a continent of black people."God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to an area of rolling hills and prairie on a large land mass and said, "What's that beautiful garden spot there?"Ah," said God. "That's Missouri, the most glorious place on earth.There are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunrises, sunsets, rolling hills, open prairie, oceans of waving corn, small water falls, monumental rock formations, abundant wildlife, pure white snow in the winter,white fluffy clouds, blue skies year-round, and a place where a person can See millions of stars in the sky at night.God continued, "The people from Missouri aregoing to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the World. They will be extremely sociable, hard working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughoutthe world as diplomats and carriers of peace."Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then questioned, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting around them in Arkansas, Kansas,and Oklahoma.
nyuk. nyuk. nyuk.