Friday, May 19, 2006

Ramblin Randy


My sister and I grew up in a bowling alley. Every fucking Sunday night we would put on our stupid matching uniforms and go to the bowling alley to be paraded around like a couple of goons. My dad was an old man and so were his friends. They would all smoke cigarettes and get drunk on "highballs" and hit on my mom who was twenty years youger than all of them. I hated Sunday nights. But, I did grow a fondness for bowling and in my day could hit a 185 average or so. I haven't bowled since I got sick which was 4 years ago. The last time I bowled I was sick because I couldn't throw the ball very well. I went bowling yesterday. I started with a 121, found my mark and five games later did a 178. It felt great. Fancy damn scoring machines they have on the lanes does everything but pick up a split.

The first watermelon of the season has made it to the Raley home and has promptly disappeared. There are two things I can eat my weight in. The first would be cashews and the second would be watermelon. The first watermelon of the season always tastes the best.
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What does a track coach coach? Really, is it technique? My high school track coach smoked which I thought was funny but I never got what they actually coached. Either you are fast or you are not. Jest wonderin'
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The youngest daughter is Lady Capulet in our production of Romeo and Juliet at Priory. She tried out for Juliet but didn't quite look young enough. The play runs through Sunday's matinee. This is the stuff that makes it all worthwhile through the bitching and screaming sessions that seem to make no sense. I am very proud.
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My oldest is having her graduation party on saturday night in the Quad Cities and I am looking forward to a road trip. I love the road and will drive to the Quads Saturday afternoon, see Jess and all, turn around and head back to St. Louis Sunday morning.
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It's all good.

Pearls Before Swine


That's funny. I don't care who ya are, that's funny.
Maybe the best comic strip in the paper.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Very Funny

Evolution of Math

Last week I purchased a burger and fries for $3.58.
The counter girl took my $4.00 and I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies. While looking at the screen on her register, I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.
Why do I tell you this?
Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s.

Teaching Math In 1950
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching Math In 2006
Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera para $100. La cuesto de su produccion era $80. Cuantas tortillas se puede comprar?

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Equal Time

Here is a list of the 25 un sexiest women. Debra Jo Rupp? I think she's kind of hot. Kind. of.

That's Just Beautiful

I love women, always have. Love to look at beautiful ones, though I don't mean any harm. This is about as good as it gets. I don't know anything about her other than she has an awesome voice. This is just a celebration of all that is a beautiful woman.

The nice thing about this picture is that you can use your imagination.
And I have.

My Girls Part Two



Last week, it was the peonys, this week, the roses. Too bad I can't get these guys to bloom at the same time. Bastards!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Crap I am thinking about


There is a movement in St. Louis to get Willie McGee's number retired by the Cardinals. The petition is here. As previously explained, I am a huge Cardinal fan, have been since before birth. My mother and father went to a Cardinal game on their honeymoon. So did I. I think it would be absolutely fitting to have Willie's number retired. He was the example of class and humility. When asked about it yesterday on the TV news he said, "well, if it happens that's great, you know my job now is raising my kids, so if it doesn't happen, that's OK, too." Typical Willie. I never saw a guy go from first base to third any faster than Willie. It would be great to see his graceful portrait up on the left field wall. Let's make this happen
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I seem to give old people the benefit of the doubt while driving. I don't nearly get upset with them as I do others for being boneheads on the roads. I guess I figure they have earned it.
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I have been doing a great deal of work for an internet Smooth Jazz station. It's run out of the Bonneville "Palace on Ballas". It's been fun to get back into that music again for awhile. You can hear me on www.smoothvox.com

Monday, May 15, 2006

Post Number 303; 2 for 1 Special

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until
noon. Then it's time for my nap.
-- Bob Hope










Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
-- Phyllis Diller

I LOVE THIS STUFF






Jorn Olsen works for the Dutton-Lainson Co. in Hastings, Nebraska, and lives by Heartwell Park next to Hastings College. The other night he took these photos. The stadium lights are at the Hastings College stadium just east of his home. The clouds are called Mammatus clouds. They do not precede a tornado, or foretell a storm, but are formed when the air is already saturated with rain droplets and/or ice crystals and begins to sink. The worst of the storm is usually over when these kinds of clouds are seen. They are quite rare and really beautiful.
Thanks, KK

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Al Gore on SNL


Was I dreaming or was Al Gore incredibly funny during last night's monologue on SNL?He did this speech to America about his presidency and discussed baseball commissioner George W. Bush's latest policy on steriods. He talked about all of the things he has invented in the last six years. It was funny and dead on. Nice chance to poke fun of himself. Too bad we didn't get to see that side of him whe he ran for president.

Post Number 300/A Toast To Me



It's only fitting that post number 300 would be about the beginning. May 12 1976 was my very first day on the air. If I remember correctly, it was a Saturday night and I had to climb the back stairs of WHBF AM in downtown Rock Island. This was a huge building and finding my way through the maze was thrilling. About two weeks before, I rode my motorcycle down to Washington Iowa and apply at KCII (which later on in life became one of my affiliates), just to get started. My marriage was in trouble and I just wanted to work. They didn't hire me in Washington. Having real long hair and riding in on a bike might have had something to do with it. I then met with Dick Stuart, PD of THE contry station in town. After boasting about my abilities and basically being confident in myself, Dick was overwhelmed and added me part time. My job was to make sure the automated FM stayed on the air and be witty and brilliant between country tunes on the AM. Believe it or not, the first song I played was "Chevy Van" by Sammy Johns. WTF? It was kinda country sounding but then the playlist resembled much of what was played back then. It was Merle, Ronnie Milsap, etc, etc. I was so thrilled when I was asked to fill in for the afternoon gal the next week when she went on vacation. I was so in awe. It was a drug. I was now hooked. I was pretty scared back then, not knowing where the future was going to lead me, but after a while, it all seemed to work out. I am sure it will this time. 30 years. I celebrated with chicken wings and a portabella sandwich at Culpepper's. I also played basketball twice on Friday. Not bad for an old guy. Here's a toast to all of the musicians and composers I have met throughout the years. Guys like Harry Chapin, Robin Trower, Van McClain, Nancy Wilson, John Mellencamp, Lou Reed, Dave Mason, Ozzy Osbourne, Paul Simon, Bob Seger, Max Weinberg, Jon Anderson,Bryan Adams, Steve Perry, Boz Scaggs, etc etc etc.

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