Saturday, March 25, 2006

Saturday Night Music Musings

In praise of this album from the group Toto.
I have always been a man that appreciates a wide variety of music, from Mahavishnu to Dean Martin, from Black Sabbath to Wes Montgomery, from Hank Williams to the Carpenters(shaddap!!)
I really first heard most of Toto when they backed up Boz Scaggs "Silk Degrees". I thought the songs from that album were performed very tightly and you knew these cats knew how to play. They reminded me of a funky Steely Dan, and that was good.
This release in 1978 (at the height of the disco craze)was also right when I was discovering the magic of radio and the wondrous doors it opened up. Doors like spinning tunes at the local "disco" on a Friday and Saturday night for hours and hours, getting a fifty, staying up all night long and being newly divorced and all....well, ahem I digress.
I was music director at an AM station that played Barry Manilow during the day, then at 7 pm, we would play a pre-recorded intro and then Rush or Ted Nugent or Santana or Deep Purple would come on. I still have the logo...It was great and for awhile, we kicked everyone's ass until an FM station in town figured out what we were doing and signed on. We were done. Anyway, I got the album from the record guy, took it home and fell in love. I think every track is strong but my favorite tune on the LP is without a doubt "Georgy Porgy". God, what a song to fill the dance floor with. I was blown away by the entire thing. "Girl Goodbye", "Rockmaker","You Supply The Love" ande the classic "Hold The Line". I will never forget being 22 again; still in love with radio and still in love with life.

Random Thoughts

I quit drinking on my 50th birthday (Feb 17). Not a drop since then. No shakes, bad dreams or anything. I may never drink again.

I gave up meat then too. No reason other than I wanted my body to be more pure than it was. I have been jonesing some chicken wings, dreaming about a giant steak at Citizen Kane's but no shakes, though.

I gave up soda, too, but fell off the wagon. Something about a nicely chilled vintage bottle of diet dew. Hey, I'm not perfect, but after drinking the Big Gulp, I'm shaking a bit.

The job front has been interesting. Something came down completely out of the business that I am really attracted to. Do I do work for $$ anymore or just love of the job? We will see.

The end of fireplace season is upon us. We have went through the season's worth of wood just in the last week. There is something about having a fire going while watching basketball.

Good luck to my bud George (the artist now known as Cooper). I am proud of you, my friend. You will be awesome.

I got an email from my sister saying that my nephew is now some secretve CIA/James Bond dude stationed somewhere doing something with somebody somehow. I would tell you the rest but then I would have to kill you.

This "KTRS" thing just kills me. I won't rehash the details, but Dave Linehan...dude, you didn't know you had a seven second delay button? And you are doing middays in a top twenty market? The radio business is in worse shape than I thought. The dumbing down of the industry continues and a once proud radio station falls further into the abyss. Wake me when it's over.

A beautiful saturday in St. Louis just reminds me that I have LOTS of yard work to do.

Movie Review..."Larry The Cable Guy"

I dont know who the guy who wrote this is, but as a guy who grew up in rural, southern,here!!!

Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector / Dustin Rowles
I found it semi-ironic and somewhat flattering that, last week, many of the commenters on my V for Vendetta review took the opportunity to call me “pretentious” for overusing “long” and “foreign” words. For a dumb guy from Arkansas, “pretentious” is the closest thing to intelligent I’ve ever been called. Indeed, given my Confederate-state upbringing, I was actually kind of looking forward to sitting through and reviewing Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector and had made plans to do the South justice in easy-to-read language that my extended family could understand, if only they weren’t illiterate (sorry, Meemaw). Living in the Northeast for the past decade, however, I knew nothing of Larry the Cable Guy; my introduction to the catchphrase he smuggled into the zeitgeist was a bottle opener my father-in-law stuffed into my stocking over Christmas that announced, “GIT-R-DONE!” every time I opened a beer — a bottle opener that, unfortunately, I will now have to take a sledgehammer to, rendering Larry mute forevermore in my household. It’s a shame, too, because I had high hopes for a movie that might offer a Foxworthyesque brand of ribbing to the South, prodding us about our lack of teeth, the broken appliances that litter our front yards, and the state of our transportable houses (for the record, my mother lives in the nicest mobile home in her entire town, which says a lot in a place where the mayor’s office, the video store, and the bank are all trailers).
Unfortunately, I was harshly warned of Larry’s brand of humor on a recent car trip, in which I took the opportunity to do some research by listening to the Blue Collar Comedy radio station. Though many of the comics broadcast that day captured the humor inherent to the states below the Mason-Dixon line (particularly, a bit about Wal-Mart by a guy named Bill Engvall), it was Larry who lowered the bar, reminiscing about how Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction made him “want to drink chocolate milk for the next six months.”
Yeah. Racist jokes are clever, aren’t they?
To my mind, there are two types of Southerners, both of which are well reflected in country music. First, there is the South that I am fond of: the laid-back gentility; the charming drawls; the good old boys who occasionally tell off-color jokes but who on the whole, are good people — unpretentious, winsome, and good-natured Christian folks who love their country, their kids and, above all, biscuits and gravy. These are the Garth Brookses, the Randy Travises, and if you’re lucky, the Willie Nelsons of the South.
Then there are the other Southerners — the people that Larry the Cable Guy depicts: the nasty, racist, homophobic mullet-wearing rednecks who trumpet the N-word whenever possible, think that gay-bashing is their birthright, wrap themselves in Jesus and the Flag to justify their bigotry and excuse both their ignorance and slovenliness, and who spent a good deal of their formative years beating the shit out of kids like me. These folks are, of course, represented by Toby Keith, Darrel Whorley, and Robert Duvall characters, and — thankfully — most of these people are too fucking lazy to get out off their ripped, yard-sale couches to attend a movie they can’t afford to see anyway (I told you bastards that you should’ve invested my lunch money in Apple stock).
I offer all this exposition by way of telling you I don’t have a lot to say about Health Inspector other than to compare Larry’s brand of “comedy” to the dumbassery of Toby Keith — humorless, vile, and not even well intentioned. In fact, I suspect that many Southerners would revile Larry themselves if they knew that he was a carpet-bagging Nebraskan fuckwit who attended private schools in Florida, presumably to learn how to trade in the most contemptible stereotypes Southerners for a goddamn dollar. Indeed, Health Inspector only served to remind me of why I left the South rather than suffer round after round of disparagement for my use of long words and my tolerance for anybody that doesn’t shop at Wal-Mart or beat his wife.
As for the film’s plot summary — I don’t care, you don’t care, and there is very little to offer anyway, but here goes: Larry plays a health inspector, a plot contrivance that gives him license to visit many ethnic restaurants and offer up lame “immigrant food” jokes at the expense of Indians, Asians, blacks, and Greeks. (Don’t worry, though — he’s got a black friend, so there’s no way he could be racist, right?) Unfortunately, because Larry is a shower-pissing loose cannon, he’s ultimately saddled with a partner, Amy Butlin (Iris Bahr) — a prim, flat-chested woman who wears her hair in a pony tail, which, according to Larry, means she is a “fag.” (Gay jokes are a running theme throughout Health Inspector — in Larry’s eyes, apparently, there is no better way to emasculate someone than to call him gay). Amy and Larry are trying to find the saboteur who keeps poisoning the area’s finest restaurants with diarrhea-inducing additives, an element that easily plays into Larry’s penchant for flatulence humor, giving him free reign to fart at whim or, even better: plant his petite, attractive girlfriend (Megyn Price) onto the toilet for an evening of defecation sound effects — plops and reverberations that you, too, can listen to simply by paying the price of admission!
As the plot progresses, many of Hollywood’s finest character actors find ingenious ways to sully their names: Tom Wilson (Biff Tannen to most of you) plays Larry’s sexually confused boss; Tony Hale (“Arrested Development”’s Buster, who just isn’t as funny without a hook on his arm) is wheelchair bound, and thus the target of Larry’s handicapped jokes; David Koechner plays the “semi-retard” who keeps hitting himself with a soccer ball; Joe Pantoliano is the mayor who can’t stop ogling women’s breasts; and even Kid Rock found the lone project that could further debase a man who had already starred alongside Scott Stapp in videotaped sexual shenanigans.
Through it all, Health Inspector takes shape as the cinematic equivalent of middle Pennsylvania (Pennsyltucky), demonstrating all that is ugly about the South without incorporating any of its charm. Indeed, Health Inspector is the lowest form of comedy: repulsive and proudly ignorant and, perhaps worst of all, Larry ridicules those he means to amuse, while propagating unfair cultural stereotypes about the South, validating and confirming the opinions of their uppity, intellectual counterparts in the North. Of all the films I’ve had the displeasure to sit through as a movie critic, I can safely say that none are as abhorrent as Health Inspector, and I beseech anyone who will listen to avoid it at all costs and, please, throw sharp objects at those who choose to attend, and when they are writhing in pain and bleeding from their open wounds, stuff their pie holes with a Confederate flag and tell them Pajiba sent you.

Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba and managing partner of its parent company, which prefers to remain anonymous for reasons pertaining to public relations. He lives in Ithaca, New York.

Thoughts on The Tournament

Washington got screwed. It seems to me that the officiating has become second rate in the tournament. I am NOT one of those conspiracy guys, really. With that being said,it really looked like that the officials wanted UConn to win last night. Two VERY questionable calls went against Washington in the waning moments of the game. And the good news.... DUKE IS HISTORY!Nice job, Coach K. Each tournament features some shilling from you whether it's a recruiting spot for American Express or Chevy talking about trust, but for the second year "the most talented team in the nation" gets bounced in the Sweet 16. How joyous. My team (Witchita State) looked horrible last night and I guess the Raley family is now rooting for George Mason or LSU to take it all. Now that Gonzaga is gone (more questionable officiating),it's a wide open deal. It's madness and it's heartbreaking and fun at the same time.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Down Time..

I haven't blogged much lately. I guess I just need the time to rejuice and rejuvenate. My father once said..."The depth of a man is not found in good times, the depth of a man is how he answers bad times and what becomes of those answers". Great advice. I have also been a bit under the weather and think that has finally passed. It has also been "get caught up on the movies I have missed nights".
Monday night was "Walk The Line". This is story I knew all about. In my early years (pre-Beatles), there were three big artists in my household...Hank..Johnny and Bob Dylan. So, as Johnny's carreer unfolded, I knew all about his temptestuosness, his drug addiction and his consuming desire for June Carter Cash. This was an excellent movie. Well acted and carried my attention through the flick. Hard to believe that Resses and Jouquin sang the parts so well. Maybe a hair too long, but great entertainment. Raley's rating B+
Last night was "A History Of Violence". a fine thriller with my man Viggo playing a mild mannered restaurant owner in Indiana trying to deny his past as a mob guy in Jersey. When a kill or be killed incident happens in his reataurant, all of his back demons appear. This is an excellent movie with Maria Bello looking and acting awesome. Raleys rating B+ except for the ending which lowers it to a B. Tonight, it's "Batman Begins" and the new "Wallace and Gromit" movie. I'll let you know.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Gimme a Break...all day long

Enough..enough already with the same commercials shown ad nauseum through the tournament. Watching last night, I kept 20 minutes we saw 18 :30 commercials. I understand advertising, I know the concept of "branding", but if I hear Coach K talk about "trust" one more time while shilling for Chevy or those two Applebee clowns again, I'm gonna hurl.

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