No Pity Party

I have a great life, filled with great friends, and a healthy family. That makes me better off than 99.7% of the world's population. There is no doubt. I just don't like what has happened this summer and how I have been treated by prospective employers. Being treated rudely is par for the course when it comes to radio people. Program directors are known for ignoring people who come to them in need of a job that they have posted. I have sent out probably 25 resumes and auditions this summer, and have recieved a reply on 3. The "coin flip" and two rejection letters. Even out of the radio business, however, I find most HR people and personnel departments are less civil and downright rude sometimes. I applied for a job at Balke/Brown here in St. Louis for a position that I thought I was qualified for and received a response that was basically..."who the hell do you think you are for applying for THIS job?" Just rude. I hope that someday, the cosmic tumblers of the karma Master lock gets turned and the shoe is on the other foot. I will keep fighting....

Cruel Summer

I don't remember a summer that has been as cruel as much as this one. From the beginning(I was one of two candidates for a great job and I lost on a "coin flip", spraining my ankle so badly that it still is swollen), to yesterday ("I don't have anything for you, I just wanted to meet the guy I grew up listening to"). My days are full of disappointment and my nights are full of sleepless dreams that make no sense. Hallucenogenic might be the right term, how else would you describe a dream about riding the bus of death with a driver that looks like Johnny Cash? It seems that I am the butt of a cosmic joke and God, in his infinate wisdom, is punishing me for past sins and maybe even past life mistakes. I have the song "Galileo" by the Indigo Girls running through my head. My head hurts from trying to figure out the next move and my heart aches for my family who has had to endure this ride with me. I haven't had a drink in six months and I sure would like one. I have applied for jobs all over town and been turned down becasue I don't have the correct last name. "Hey, you're a legend in this town"..really? Can I have a job? No, sorry, nothing here. "Someone from personel will call you tomorrow". Great. Waiting...waiting. My father did the same job over and over and over and over for 30 years. God, I wish I had that kind of security. All I need is ten years and with my family's history, I'll probably be dead then. While there have been some musical finds this summer (Cheap Trick, Stevie Williams, Mark Knopfler/Emmylou Harris), the high points have been few and far between. I have taken two Hogan personality tests (true or false...I want to learn to deep sea dive..I am a calm person..I think your appearance is important...people tend to like me) and obviously flunked them both. I have been dismissed by the railroad because of my age(sure, sure, we DON'T discriminate by age)and other times just because. I have had rude rejection letters and well written ones. This summer has been the summer of my discontent, the boulevard of broken dreams, the summer that makes me wonder if anything will come my way. It has taken away my self confidence and thoroughly eroded my self esteem. The jobs and the pay have dwindled in radio so badly, it makes me wonder if I can even make ends meet anymore. If not for the saving grace of my family (the ones that are still speaking to me) and the wonderful distraction that is basketball, I would have lost my mind. I have no idea where I am going and how this summer will end up (oh great joy, we still have another month left)but I will keep plugging along and hope that something miraculous will take place, something that God will plant in front of me, someone or something that will save my life. Shit, even Pluto gets kicked out of the club this summer. How cruel is that? Running out of money, running on faith. It's my blog, my journal, for whimsical stuff, fun stuff and stuff that hurts. This summer has hurt, there is no getting around it. I just hope to walk away with scars that will heal. I hope to walk away at all.
Cue Mr. Springsteen...

It's rainin' but there ain't a cloud in the sky
Musta been a tear from your eye
Everything'll be okay
Funny thought I felt a sweet summer breeze
Musta been you sighin' so deep
Don't worry we're gonna find a way

I'm waitin', waitin' on a sunny day
Gonna chase the clouds away
Waitin' on a sunny day

Without you I'm workin' with the rain fallin' down
Half a party in a one dog town
I need you to chase the blues away
Without you I'm a drummer girl that can't keep a beat
And ice cream truck on a deserted street
I hope that you're coming to stay

I'm waitin', waitin' on a sunny day
Gonna chase the clouds away
Waitin' on a sunny day

Hard times baby, well they come to tell us all
Sure as the tickin' of the clock on the wall
Sure as the turnin' of the night into day
Your smile girl, brings the mornin' light to my eyes
Lifts away the blues when I rise
I hope that you're coming to stay

Abbott and Costello on Computers...

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
"Who's on First" might have turned out something like this:

Costello calls to buy a computer from Abbott

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac

COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need.

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer. How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money

ABBOTT: Why not THEY OWN IT!




(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off

ABBOTT: Click on "START".............