How about some fun, huh? Seems it's been awhile. I was talking to a friend of mine and he brought us the fact that somewhere the Brits decided that the best guitar solo ever was David Gilmour's nasty, filthy solo in "Comfortably Numb" I couldn't argue, but then it got me thinking hmmmmm.....
My top twenty guitar solos* (in no particular order)....
"Still Got The Blues" by Gary Moore. This guys never got the respect he deserves. A monster guitar player that fronted Thin Lizzy for awhile and released "Still Got The Blues" in 1991. It was my favorite release that year.
"Johnny B. Goode" by Chuck Berry. Could this have been the first guitar solo ever? This is the foundation and the blueprint for a rock song. Chuck ruled.
"Couldn't Stand The Weather" by Stevie Ray Vaughn. He was sloppy but very few played with the passion and downright fervor than this guy. Playing this song in a band was a real thrill for me, Steve Pecaro's version pales only slightly.
"Since I've Been Loving You" by Jimmy Page. I could have included "Stairway To Heaven" but that's too easy. This is Jimmy at his darkest, bluesiest and his best work (I think).
"Then Came The Last Days Of May" by Buck Dharma (Blue Oyster Cult). This solo is just tasty and one of my all time favorites. Reminds me of high school and tokin in my late cousin's bedroom. (Sorry, Jess)
"Aqualung" by Martin Barre. Ian Anderson once said that this was the angriest piece of noise he had ever been a part of. This solo ranks with the best of all time. The high point of this legendary band.
"While My Guitar Gently Weeps" by Eric Clapton (Beatles). Ever heard a guitar cry? Was Eric ever better than this? George knew what he was doing when he asked Eric to do this majestic piece of work.
"Kid Charlemagne" by Larry Carlton (Steely Dan). I could have picked "My Old School" or "Reeling In The Years" but as far as tasty, sweet and to the point, this solo by one of my favorite guitar players is as close to perfect as you can get.
"Jessica" By Dickey Betts (Allman Brothers).Is there such a thing as a happy solo? This song makes me smile whenever I hear it. Dickey may have done better solos ("Blue Sky") but I really like the feel of this.
"Comfortably Numb" by David Gilmour (Pink Floyd). Alan Parsons kind of ruined this for me when he told me it was different pieces put together but the whole finished product just kicks ass.
"Highway Star" by Richie Blackmore (Deep Purple). How many times have I played this on my air guitar and nailed it? Thousands. This was the best band in the world at this time.
"Can't You Hear Me Knockin'?" by Keith Richards (Rolling Stones) Keith was never higher...er, I mean better than this album. Sloppy, funky and right on.
"Sultans of Swing" by Mark Knopfler (Dire Straits). Still, to this day, I get goosebumps hearing this workout. The solo was way too short, this song should be two minutes longer.
"Savannah Woman" by Tommy Bolin. Another one that's way too short. He's just getting warmed up on this before the song fades out. Kind of a funky, flamenco flavor that reminds me of a hot Latino woman. Underrated and overlooked guitar player.
"Eruption" by Eddie Van Halen. 'nuff said.
"Hotel California" by Joe Walsh and Don Felder (The Eagles). More of a duet than a solo, but a classic song and it wouldn't have the power without this. Joe was a great addition to this band.
"Intro/Sweet Jane" by Steve Hunter and Dick Wagner (Lou Reed).Maybe one of the best live recordings ever. Another great duet. At this time, Lou Reed was a great live act and his band was a top notch, first rate outfit.
"All Along The Watchtower" Dave Mason and Jimi Hendrix. OK, I cheated. Dave Mason played acoustic guitar on the original and his version just smokes. Jimi's version was very understated and showed he had polish when he wanted to.
"Europa" by Carlos Santana. A six minute solo. After this song, you just want to say..."oh baby"
"Cause We've Ended As Lovers" by Jeff Beck. This makes me cry. What style and grace by one of the greatest players ever. "Blow by Blow" contains a ton of these great stylish solos.
"Summertime" by Dave Edmunds (Love Sculpture). Before Dave was a pop artist, he played wicked blues. Gershwin is still spinning in his grave.
Honorable mention "Goodbye To Love" by the Carpenters (shaddup!) Joey Peluso cooks on this. "Stranglehold" by Ted Nugent, "Too Rolling Stoned" by Robin Trower, "Cliffs of Dover" by Eric Johnson, "The Thrill Is Gone" B. B. King, "Like A Hurricane", Neil Young, "Wire", U2. By popular demand, let's add these, too..."War Pigs", Toni Iommi (Black Sabbath), "Black Napkins" by Frank Zappa and "Still In Love With You" Brian Gorham (Thin Lizzy)
* Only one solo by a particular artist allowed, no jazz, hey, it's my list, make your own...
Friday, September 08, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Not again....
I hate hospitals...no really, I hate hospitals. The smell, the sounds. My dad died in a hospital 29 years ago yesterday. My mom died in a hospital. The smell makes me vomit. On Monday at 7:30am, I get cut on again. Shit. Apparently, I have a growth on the inside of my esophogus that needs to come out. Piss, damn, shit. The next thing you know I'll have more scars than this dude....
They may have to cut open my neck, fuck with my vocal chords (oh great) and remove it. Or just stick a long pair of scissors down my throat and cut it out. Whatever. This HAS to have been the worst friggin damn summer ever. Hopefully, it's just a growth and nothing more. The way this summer has been.....
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Steely Dan
I had a pair of lawn seats to the show, but I stopped by the box office to see if there was anything else avaiulable. The young lady at the window said "no, nothing really" and I went away knowing that at least I would get in. About 20 minutes later, she stopped by the van and said there was one seat left, third row center. Shit, I don't have a hundred bucks for a seat and I was reminded of the time when I was married to my first wife. I had 7 bucks in my pocket to last all week. I found an English import copy of "Blues Helping" by Love Sculpture at my favorite record store for seven bucks. Well, what to do...you guessed, I bought the album but didn't have any money left. It had been 13 years since Steely Dan played in St. Louis and I am pretty sure they won't be back. So, I did it. Bought the ticket and after the broadcast, went inside to get my seat. Wow, unbelievable, Micheal McDonald was close enough to spit on me. Now, I am not the greatest Micheal McDonald fan. I think he has pretty much mumbled his way to stardom and I think he wasn't the guy the Doobie Brothers needed at the time. Some of his stuff is OK and his Motown covers are pretty pedestrian. He can't hit the high notes anymore and I thought he was OK.
Steely Dan come out to the tune of "Bodhisatva" and immediately, it was apparent that these guys had surrounded themselves with a crackerjack band, especially the young buck on drums. But wouldn't you know, the way my summer has been, there were two couples on my left that had the women sitting next to each other. Yak yak yak yak. I finally said to the guy next to me, "Look, I am not trying to be a prick or anything, but, shit I paid a hundred bucks I didn't have after waiting 13 years, is this conversation really necessary?" He leaned over said something and then the ladies left while feeding me a dirty look. Cool. The guy on my right however, kept asking an unnamed person on the phone.."where are you?" and chatting with that person. When did a concert become a fucking sporting event? Shut the hell up, people and enjoy the music you are in the third frikkin row!!! Back to the show, perfection personified. The encore was "FM" and "My Old School" with Micheal McDonald joining them. They played my favorites "Aja", "Home At Last","I Got The News", "Kid Charlemagne" "Do It Again" with MM on lead vocals and a very interesting version of "Show Biz Kids" done to the tune of "Cold Sweat" that was weird but highly entertaining. No "Deacon Blues", no "Reeling In The Years" but overall, true excellence. It started raining towrds the end of the show and I immediately thought of my friend Sean who is probably a bigger fan than I having to endure the rain while listening to the tunes. Man, what a way to close out the summer. I have high hopes that fall will bring a change of luck. How I wish I would have played that Martin guitar I bought in 1980 more, I would be pretty good by now.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Crikey, how ironic, Irwin dead
Steve Irwin 44, killed by animal. Spooked stingray did him in. I always liked his enthusiasm, energy and love for his job. If you are gonna go, it might as well be painless and at something you love. Left behind a wife and two kids. Bummer.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Questions...questions...
Why are drug companies advertising things that we can't buy without a prescription? Advodart is a prescription drug for enlarged prostrates. Of course, all over the commercial, there are pictures of water. Now, I ask you, if I had this condition, should I walk into my doctors office and say..."hey, doc, how bout a script for advodart, I saw it on TV?" Would he then say, ..."OK, sure..here ya go?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I am nor sure what drug company it's for, but why is there a bee promoting the product and why does that bee speak with a spanish accent? And why are the people in the commercial not real people, they look like characters out of Toy Story?
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Why have I had the same dream for over thirty years? The dream that starts with me being happy to be in a new radio station and the all hell breaks loose when I can't find the records (yep, they are still records) in time to make the next segue? I had it again last night.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What ever happened to common ground in this country? Why is it that if I disagree with you on one point, you think I disagree with you on everything? How can a person be pro life but then again believe in the death penalty?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why do I enjoy college football so much? Hell, these are my kids playing. My son knows Brady Quinn (QB at Notre Dame) and now, vicariously, I am a fan. Rooting for Notre Dame takes me back to the days of Ara Paseghian and the voice of Chris Schenkel and Lindsey Nelson.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Post number 430
This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, "Purpose Driven Life" author, and pastor of Saddleback Church in California .
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body--but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal of God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good for which you can thank God. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."
But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72. First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism?
Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better.
God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body--but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal of God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good for which you can thank God. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."
But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72. First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism?
Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better.
God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Steely Dan is Coming!
Truly, the ONLY show I really wanted to see this year is almost here. On Labor Day night, I have the pleasure of broadcasting at the UMB Bank Pavillion for Micheal McDonald and the "magnificent one Mr. Steely Dan". I saw them only once, in 1993 and they were perfect, note for note on every song except "Reeling In The Years" which was turned into a slow blues number.
With that in mind, my top ten Steely Dan tunes...
1. My Old School Not a tighter band in the world at the time, great arrangement, lyrics and that honkin guitar solo.
2. Deacon Blues One for the losers in the world, "Aja" may be the best album in their history.
3. Do It AgainI've heard this song more than you. Never forget the first time I heard it on the radio. Nothing sounded like it. Any song with an electric sitar and a vocorder in it is OK in my book.
4. King of The World This song used to scare the piss out of me. The end of the world as we know it.
5. Kid Charlemagne Larry Carlton plays his ass off here, one of my all time favorite guitar solos.
6. Home At LastAja, again. For everyone whose away from home. Sweet tune, well arranged and tasty.
7. Show Biz KidsA real good time in my life, can you say the word "fuck" on the radio? They did.
8.Pretzel Logic Steely Dan plays the blues, and how they could play.
9. Babylon Sisters And the colored girls go..."here come those santa anna winds again". Perfection on vinyl.
10.Chain Lightning Rock meets jazz=nothing like it in the seventies.
Picking my top ten Steely Dan songs is like saying which one of my children I like the most.
Here is the Wikipedia entry on Steely Dan:
My Breakfast
So, what did you have for breakfast? Me? I had Barium. Yeah, it's tasty and oh so good for you. Yeah, it's derivative is rat poison, but that's OK. I can had hardly wait till this shit goes through my system. My ass ought to light up a geiger counter in the next room. Maybe I'll take a picture of the outcome and post it on the blog.
See how happy this person looks? She didn't have to drink two gallons of the crap.
"Just one more, Mr. Raley, please swallow hard." So, how was your morning?
See how happy this person looks? She didn't have to drink two gallons of the crap.
"Just one more, Mr. Raley, please swallow hard." So, how was your morning?
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Random Crap
Why is called the "UMB Bank Pavillion"? Isn't that like saying the United Missouri Bank Bank Pavillion? That is the way they want it said. Ok, then, I will just stop by their ATM machine.
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Why, after I eat asparagus (if there is more than one, is it asparagi?), my urine smells like a tire thats on fire? Does it happen to women too? Yech.
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Why are their fewer broadcasters broadcasting sports on TV anymore? I turned in for a little while to the pregame of Rams football and saw Roland Williams(?)give us his opinion of himself. WTF? And Ricky Proehl, as a broadcaster, you were an awesome receiver. Hey, I am out of work, I'll do it.
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When talking about guys who have had an effect and a legacy on American music, why is Neil Young never mentioned in the same breath as Dylan or Springsteen? Year after year, he releases album after album that should be considered clasic recordings. I just saw a bit of "Heart of Gold" last night and it's a movie of him premiering "Prairie Wind" (a collection of songs he wrote while being diagnosed with a brain anuerism) in front of a sold out house at the Ryman in Nashville. He brings me to tears, he is that good.
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"The Aristocrats" is a profane, crude, rude, socially unacceptable and hilariously funny movie. If you are shocked by words, it's not for you.
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Why, after I eat asparagus (if there is more than one, is it asparagi?), my urine smells like a tire thats on fire? Does it happen to women too? Yech.
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Why are their fewer broadcasters broadcasting sports on TV anymore? I turned in for a little while to the pregame of Rams football and saw Roland Williams(?)give us his opinion of himself. WTF? And Ricky Proehl, as a broadcaster, you were an awesome receiver. Hey, I am out of work, I'll do it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When talking about guys who have had an effect and a legacy on American music, why is Neil Young never mentioned in the same breath as Dylan or Springsteen? Year after year, he releases album after album that should be considered clasic recordings. I just saw a bit of "Heart of Gold" last night and it's a movie of him premiering "Prairie Wind" (a collection of songs he wrote while being diagnosed with a brain anuerism) in front of a sold out house at the Ryman in Nashville. He brings me to tears, he is that good.
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"The Aristocrats" is a profane, crude, rude, socially unacceptable and hilariously funny movie. If you are shocked by words, it's not for you.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
No Pity Party
I have a great life, filled with great friends, and a healthy family. That makes me better off than 99.7% of the world's population. There is no doubt. I just don't like what has happened this summer and how I have been treated by prospective employers. Being treated rudely is par for the course when it comes to radio people. Program directors are known for ignoring people who come to them in need of a job that they have posted. I have sent out probably 25 resumes and auditions this summer, and have recieved a reply on 3. The "coin flip" and two rejection letters. Even out of the radio business, however, I find most HR people and personnel departments are less civil and downright rude sometimes. I applied for a job at Balke/Brown here in St. Louis for a position that I thought I was qualified for and received a response that was basically..."who the hell do you think you are for applying for THIS job?" Just rude. I hope that someday, the cosmic tumblers of the karma Master lock gets turned and the shoe is on the other foot. I will keep fighting....
Friday, August 25, 2006
Cruel Summer
I don't remember a summer that has been as cruel as much as this one. From the beginning(I was one of two candidates for a great job and I lost on a "coin flip", spraining my ankle so badly that it still is swollen), to yesterday ("I don't have anything for you, I just wanted to meet the guy I grew up listening to"). My days are full of disappointment and my nights are full of sleepless dreams that make no sense. Hallucenogenic might be the right term, how else would you describe a dream about riding the bus of death with a driver that looks like Johnny Cash? It seems that I am the butt of a cosmic joke and God, in his infinate wisdom, is punishing me for past sins and maybe even past life mistakes. I have the song "Galileo" by the Indigo Girls running through my head. My head hurts from trying to figure out the next move and my heart aches for my family who has had to endure this ride with me. I haven't had a drink in six months and I sure would like one. I have applied for jobs all over town and been turned down becasue I don't have the correct last name. "Hey, you're a legend in this town"..really? Can I have a job? No, sorry, nothing here. "Someone from personel will call you tomorrow". Great. Waiting...waiting. My father did the same job over and over and over and over for 30 years. God, I wish I had that kind of security. All I need is ten years and with my family's history, I'll probably be dead then. While there have been some musical finds this summer (Cheap Trick, Stevie Williams, Mark Knopfler/Emmylou Harris), the high points have been few and far between. I have taken two Hogan personality tests (true or false...I want to learn to deep sea dive..I am a calm person..I think your appearance is important...people tend to like me) and obviously flunked them both. I have been dismissed by the railroad because of my age(sure, sure, we DON'T discriminate by age)and other times just because. I have had rude rejection letters and well written ones. This summer has been the summer of my discontent, the boulevard of broken dreams, the summer that makes me wonder if anything will come my way. It has taken away my self confidence and thoroughly eroded my self esteem. The jobs and the pay have dwindled in radio so badly, it makes me wonder if I can even make ends meet anymore. If not for the saving grace of my family (the ones that are still speaking to me) and the wonderful distraction that is basketball, I would have lost my mind. I have no idea where I am going and how this summer will end up (oh great joy, we still have another month left)but I will keep plugging along and hope that something miraculous will take place, something that God will plant in front of me, someone or something that will save my life. Shit, even Pluto gets kicked out of the club this summer. How cruel is that? Running out of money, running on faith. It's my blog, my journal, for whimsical stuff, fun stuff and stuff that hurts. This summer has hurt, there is no getting around it. I just hope to walk away with scars that will heal. I hope to walk away at all.
Cue Mr. Springsteen...
It's rainin' but there ain't a cloud in the sky
Musta been a tear from your eye
Everything'll be okay
Funny thought I felt a sweet summer breeze
Musta been you sighin' so deep
Don't worry we're gonna find a way
I'm waitin', waitin' on a sunny day
Gonna chase the clouds away
Waitin' on a sunny day
Without you I'm workin' with the rain fallin' down
Half a party in a one dog town
I need you to chase the blues away
Without you I'm a drummer girl that can't keep a beat
And ice cream truck on a deserted street
I hope that you're coming to stay
I'm waitin', waitin' on a sunny day
Gonna chase the clouds away
Waitin' on a sunny day
Hard times baby, well they come to tell us all
Sure as the tickin' of the clock on the wall
Sure as the turnin' of the night into day
Your smile girl, brings the mornin' light to my eyes
Lifts away the blues when I rise
I hope that you're coming to stay
Monday, August 21, 2006
Abbott and Costello on Computers...
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
"Who's on First" might have turned out something like this:
Costello calls to buy a computer from Abbott
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac
COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need.
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer. How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money
ABBOTT: Why not THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off
ABBOTT: Click on "START".............
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
"Who's on First" might have turned out something like this:
Costello calls to buy a computer from Abbott
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac
COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need.
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer. How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money
ABBOTT: Why not THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off
ABBOTT: Click on "START".............
Saturday, August 19, 2006
A Great Musical Find
One of the cool things about voice tracking an internet smooth jazz station is the fact I get exposed to music I wouldn't normally hear. Some of it is pretty pedestrian, but Stevie Williams is one of the baddest bass players I have ever heard. In the spirit of Stanley Clarke, Jaco Pastorius and Abraham Laboriel, this cat is just plain B-A-D.
This is one of the best CDs I have heard in the last five years. "Open Up Your Heart" kicks off the CD and is the first thing that caught my ear, extremely funky with a keyboard that sounds like a freight train, Steve Winwood would be proud of this. An incredibly catchy tune that sets the stage. "Today I Stop" sounds like Rufus with Chaka Khan, soulful and sweet. "Lo-Fi" starts with the sounds of a scratchy record and you swear the turntable os on the wrong speed. Where did this creativity come from? Incredible bass playing and a rhythm section that sounds like thunder. "Living Under The Sun" has turned into my favorite track on this recording and my favorite song this summer. Uplifting, funky, sweet with a piano solo and trumpet played with heart and passion. Where did this guy come from? "Just A Little More" sounds like a 1970s soul song that could have been done by Marvin Gaye. If your toes don't tap to this, you need help. Could have been a big hit if released 30 years ago. "Skyward Bound" sounds just like Jaco did when he was alive. This track is as about as laidback as you can get. The melody here reminds me of a hot summer day, the consistency of molasses. "Nursery Bass (The Special Children)" Nice feeling here, a bit of a throwaway if there is one on this release, but a sweet song with a real interesting fingering concept here. Nice solo in the middle from what sounds like a piccolo. "Gospel Summer" Baptist church on a hot Sunday morning. A great song, my second favorite on the CD. Jublilant and a joyful noise and when that Hammond B3 kicks in, you give up your soul to the groove...Hallelujah! "Walk Tall" brings you back down to Earth with a cool funky vibe that sounds like Jimmy Jamerson to me, just the way he plays is a nod to the old Motown Funk Brothers. "4am" a great ending to a wonderful ride. Cool talk box feature that would make Bob Heil proud. I plan on sending Stevie an email through his website just to say thanks for being one of the few things anymore that fills this 50 year old music fan's heart with awe. Find this release and buy it.
Friday, August 18, 2006
The Top Five Drugged Up Appearances Ever
With our special guests...Crispin Glover, James Brown, Klaus Kinski and Richard Pryor.
I don't care who ya are...that's funny.
From cracked.com
Thursday, August 17, 2006
My Head Hurts...Please Stop
After ten years, it's ALL JonBonet all the time. This is the second wave and the reason that network and local news organizations suck. Please stop! My head hurts already. NBC Nightly news spent the first eight fucking minutes on this tonight....and then, we needed a "local" angle. Now I'm watching Fox news in the studio and they have lined up six "experts" on the case.
HE DIDN'T DO IT!
Now, be like OJ and find the real killer.
Now, really, does this guy look like a child molester to you? Well, actually.....
Song In My Head
I was listening to the radio
I heard a song reminded me of long ago
Back then I thought that things were never gonna change
It used to be that I never had to feel the pain
I know that things will never be the same now
I wanna go back
And do it all over again
But I can't go back I know
I wanna go back
Cause I'm feeling so much older
But I can't go back I know
I recall hanging out on Friday night
The first slow dance
Hoping that I'll get it right
Back then I thought I'd never ever stand alone
It used to be that a lonely heart was never shown
I know that things will never be the same
I wanna go back
And do it all over again
But I can't go back I know
I wanna go back
Cause I'm feeling so much older
But I can't go back I know
Can't go back
I can't go back
I know now that things will never be the same
No, No
And do it all over
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Monday, August 14, 2006
Nursery Rhymes For Big Kids
Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb #$%!"
HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb #$%!"
HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Thanks Mike
MIKE DOUGLAS 1925-2006
Mike with Olivia Newton-John (yummy) and her sister
As a young man growing up on a farm in the middle of nowhere, I didn't get the chance to experience much of what was going on in the music scene. My Am radio at night picked up the hallowed sounds of WLS and KAAY, but other than that, it was slim pickins. Every day after school (and before my chores), I would do my homework in front of the TV watching Mike Douglas and who Mike had on. Somedays it would be guys like Alejandro Rey and other days it would be guys like Jimi Hendrix or Sly Stone or whoever.
Mike Douglas with Starbuck "Moonlight Feels Right"
Mike seemed to be at home with everyone and comfortable with all of them. One Christmas, I got a very small reel to reel tape recorder from Cummins Electric and I thought I was in heaven. It was a real cheap thing with 4 1/2" reels that would last about five minutes. Whenever Mike had someone cool on, I would set up the microphone right next to the TV speaker and record. I must have had about 25 of these tapes. Mike Douglas passed away today on his 81st birthday. For a kid on the farm, he was a breath of fresh air and a conduit to what was happening in the world. I sure wish I would have kept those tapes.
Mike with Andy Kaufman
Yumm!
This snake was recently found at the old Turkey Creek gas plant located just south of the Alibates Turnoff on Highway 136 south of Fritch, Texas . [THAT'S JUST NORTH OF AMARILLO ]
9 feet, 1 inch - 97 lbs.
DEEP-FRIED RATTLESNAKE
1 medium-sized rattlesnake (3-4 lbs.), cut into steaks
1/2 cup flour
1/4 cup cornmeal
1/4 cup cracker crumbs
1/2 cup milk
1 egg
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder (not garlic salt)
1 teaspoon salt
dash pepper
Mix dry ingredients. Whisk milk into beaten egg and use to dip sna ke steaks. Then coat them with dry ingredients. Fry, uncovered, in 400 degree oil until brown.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Movie Review part two
After watching "Crash", I went flipping around the channels on my cable TV and landed on the "logos" channel. Found this movie just starting. Basically the story of a boy growing up in a hardscrapple Irish town whose mother has just died and his dad is a coal miner on strike. his dad send him to boxing lessons but this kid is attracted to the girls doing ballet and the trouble that ensues. Dad is not happy about this but when he sees the boy dance, he crosses the picket line to get the money to send him to the London School of ballet. Billy gets in and the last scene is dad and older brother going to London to see him dance many years later. Touching and sometimes manipulating but very enjoyable and although I didn't think I would like the movie, I did. Sometimes, the actors speak in such heavy accents it's hard to tell what they are saying,but it held my interest all the way though.
3 stars out of 5
Movie review part one
Sunday night was movie night. Here is the first review. "Crash". Maybe one of the best movies I have seen in a while. Questions...questions. How DO we deal with our fellow man? How do we view them in context? Are the stereotypes real? Do we judge someone solely on how they look? Intense, gripping, merciless and finally very satisfying. I absolutely loved this and I am so pleased that a movie that deals with society in a realistic way wins the "best movie" award. 122 minues went by in a flash. How would you react to the scenarios put forth in this movie? Excellent, can't wait to see it again.
4 stars out of 5.
Post number 410
“I'd put my money on solar energy… I hope we don't have
to wait ‘til oil and coal run out before we tackle that.”
--Thomas Edison, 1931
Unfriggin believable
Biggest Oil Field in U.S. Is Forced to Stop Pumping
By CLIFFORD KRAUSS and JEREMY W. PETERS
BP began shutting down the nation’s largest oil field yesterday after an inspection detected heavy corrosion and a small leak in a critical pipeline in its Prudhoe Bay operation in Alaska. The emergency drove already-high world crude oil prices to just under $77 a barrel.The company said that it would take three to five days to shut the pipeline system that serves Prudhoe Bay on the North Slope of Alaska. BP said it could not estimate how long the system would be down as it replaced all 16 miles of feeder pipelines that connect the Prudhoe Bay field with the larger Trans-Alaska Pipeline.Bob Malone, president of BP America, said at a news conference in Anchorage that the company would look for a way to get at least some of the oil flowing again, quickly and safely, to limit the impact on the nation’s oil supply. He issued a public apology.The Prudhoe Bay field produces 400,000 barrels a day, or 8 percent of American crude. Another 380,000 barrels a day from the North Slope is not affected by the shutdown. The shutdown is expected to roil the Alaskan economy for months, if not longer. California and the rest of the West Coast also stand to suffer economic damage since refineries there are designed to process the Alaskan crude.Coming at a time of rising turbulence in the Middle East and threats by Iran to use oil as a political weapon, the news from Alaska pushed the price of crude oil for September delivery up $2.22, or 3 percent, to $76.98 a barrel. While that is close to a record high, it is still lower than the inflation-adjusted record of about $85 a barrel reached in 1981. The effects of the big jump in oil prices were seen worldwide yesterday, with stock prices declining in Europe and the United States. Prices at the gas pump began to rise as much as 5 cents a gallon in some cities. Analysts predicted an additional rise of at least another 5 cents in the coming days, particularly on the West Coast. Daniel Yergin, president of Cambridge Energy Research Associates, said the shutdown would not ordinarily be a major problem by itself. But he added: “This is a disruption on top of several other disruptions that are currently afflicting the world’s oil markets in Nigeria, Iraq, Venezuela and production is still out in the Gulf of Mexico. The numbers are starting to add up.”
The discovery of pipeline corrosion, and the shutdown to do emergency repairs, are the latest in a string of embarrassments for BP, which is based in London but has operations in the United States that are bigger than those of Exxon Mobil. Its troubles also come as Congress is debating whether to expand oil drilling on the North Slope. The House recently approved drilling for oil and gas in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, but the Senate has remained reluctant to act because of environmental concerns. Oil companies may now have a tougher time reassuring lawmakers.The discovery of corrosion in the pipeline caught BP by surprise, and as of yesterday, the company was still trying to determine the cause. As a result, it is re-evaluating how it conducts inspections along the pipeline.“We can’t explain it,” Ronnie Chappell, a spokesman for BP said. The company’s regular practice in Prudhoe Bay had been to spot-check sections of pipeline that were prone to corrosion.“We believed that this program was giving us an accurate view of what was occurring in these pipelines,” Mr. Chappell said. “But the discovery of this unexpectedly severe corrosion in this particular segment of line has caused us to rethink that.” Mr. Chappell said the pipes where the corrosion was detected had not been inspected with a “smart pig,” a device that travels through the inside to measure pipe wall thickness, since 1992. The reason the device was not used, he said, was that the pipes were too clogged with sludge for the device to pass through easily. But after a major spill in March along the same network of pipes, the Department of Transportation ordered inspections with the smart pig. Those tests revealed that the steel had corroded in 12 places on the eastern side of Prudhoe Bay to thicknesses less than BP considers safe. In those areas, tests found losses of 70 to 81 percent in the 3/8-inch thickness of the wall, the company said. In one area, it said, the equivalent of four to five barrels of oil had already leaked out of the pipeline because of the rusting. The company said that spill had been contained, and that workers were in the process of vacuuming it up from the tundra.Ten miles of the 16 miles of pipeline in the Prudhoe Bay field have yet to be inspected with the smart pig, raising the possibility that more severe corrosion could be detected. Six miles of pipeline at BP’s Lisburne field, near Prudhoe Bay, were not affected by the shutdown and remain operational.Because the company is uncertain how long it will take to make the repairs, the final cost of the emergency shutdown is difficult to estimate. The company said it had not yet done an analysis to determine the financial impact. The shutdown further sullied the reputation of BP as it was trying to re-engineer its marketing to project the image of an environmentally sensitive company committed to controlling climate change. BP executives were quick to acknowledge the dimensions of their new problem, which comes in the wake of a deadly refinery explosion last year in Texas and the 270,000-gallon spill on the North Slope in March. That spill, the worst since production began on the North Slope, has resulted in a federal criminal investigation.“BP deeply regrets that it’s been necessary for us to take this drastic action,” Bob Malone, president of BP America, said at a news conference. “I apologize for the impact this has had on our nation and to the great state of Alaska.” BP said it was studying the possibility of operating portions of the pipelines to reduce the disruption, but it is unclear whether it can do that. The Prudhoe Bay field was discovered in 1968 and came on stream in 1977, producing 10 billion barrels so far. BP operates the field, with nine other companies holding interests in field leases including ConocoPhillips and Exxon Mobil. ConocoPhillips estimated a loss of about 144,000 barrels a day in crude oil production. It said it did not know yet the impact of the loss on its overall operations. Exxon Mobil estimated a similar loss in production. Mr. Malone, the BP America president, acknowledged that the discovery of severe corrosion in the pipelines and the small oil spill had called into question the condition of most of the oil transit lines at Prudhoe Bay.“We will not resume operation of the field until we and government regulators are satisfied that they can be operated safely and pose no threat to the environment,” Mr. Malone said. The immediate price rise may have been even higher had the Bush administration not immediately signaled that it was ready to release oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to ease lost supplies. “I’m obviously concerned,” Energy Secretary Samuel W. Bodman told reporters as he promised to help West Coast refiners find additional supplies. OPEC quickly announced it would use its spare capacity to compensate for any shortfalls arising from the Prudhoe Bay field shutdown, but additional supplies expected from Saudi Arabia would be of a lower quality than the Alaskan supplies. Oil industry leaders said West Coast refineries could feel the pinch of shortages in crude in a matter of weeks, even with the release of strategic reserves since those reserves tend to have higher sulfur content than many of the California refineries are designed to process. Some of the West Coast refineries, however, are owned by major international companies that have easier access than other refineries to world supplies. “Practically all of this impact and loss of supply will occur on the West Coast,” said Bob Slaughter, president of the National Petrochemical and Refiners Association. But, he added, “One of the things we learned from Katrina and Rita is that a problem in one part of the U.S. quickly affects the entire U.S. and often the world supply and demand as well.” The shutdown spurred calls in Congress to give the Department of Transportation greater powers to impose stronger maintenance standards on pipelines and it brought more criticism of Big Oil at a time of historic profits.
“With oil above $70 per barrel and BP making record profits, it can afford to properly clean and maintain its pipelines,” said Representative Edward J. Markey, a Massachusetts Democrat and member of the House Energy and Commerce Committee. “This sudden loss of production will dramatically increase oil prices and the American people will be footing the bill for this combined failure of D.O.T.’s regulatory oversight and BP’s corporate responsibility.”
So, what the hell did you do with the 10 billion fuckin dollars in profit this last quarter? You haven't done maintenence in over a decade? Are you kidding me? Congress is acting very sanctimoniously over this but remember who has the biggest hand in THEIR pockets. Yep, big oil. There will be hearings then the oil companies will bitch slap these guys and threaten to withhold campaign $$, then it will all go away until next quarter when BP announces it has made $20 billion in profits.When will it all stop? When we all wake up and start using wind power, solar power and all over renewable sources. It's going to be hell on our kids no?
By CLIFFORD KRAUSS and JEREMY W. PETERS
BP began shutting down the nation’s largest oil field yesterday after an inspection detected heavy corrosion and a small leak in a critical pipeline in its Prudhoe Bay operation in Alaska. The emergency drove already-high world crude oil prices to just under $77 a barrel.The company said that it would take three to five days to shut the pipeline system that serves Prudhoe Bay on the North Slope of Alaska. BP said it could not estimate how long the system would be down as it replaced all 16 miles of feeder pipelines that connect the Prudhoe Bay field with the larger Trans-Alaska Pipeline.Bob Malone, president of BP America, said at a news conference in Anchorage that the company would look for a way to get at least some of the oil flowing again, quickly and safely, to limit the impact on the nation’s oil supply. He issued a public apology.The Prudhoe Bay field produces 400,000 barrels a day, or 8 percent of American crude. Another 380,000 barrels a day from the North Slope is not affected by the shutdown. The shutdown is expected to roil the Alaskan economy for months, if not longer. California and the rest of the West Coast also stand to suffer economic damage since refineries there are designed to process the Alaskan crude.Coming at a time of rising turbulence in the Middle East and threats by Iran to use oil as a political weapon, the news from Alaska pushed the price of crude oil for September delivery up $2.22, or 3 percent, to $76.98 a barrel. While that is close to a record high, it is still lower than the inflation-adjusted record of about $85 a barrel reached in 1981. The effects of the big jump in oil prices were seen worldwide yesterday, with stock prices declining in Europe and the United States. Prices at the gas pump began to rise as much as 5 cents a gallon in some cities. Analysts predicted an additional rise of at least another 5 cents in the coming days, particularly on the West Coast. Daniel Yergin, president of Cambridge Energy Research Associates, said the shutdown would not ordinarily be a major problem by itself. But he added: “This is a disruption on top of several other disruptions that are currently afflicting the world’s oil markets in Nigeria, Iraq, Venezuela and production is still out in the Gulf of Mexico. The numbers are starting to add up.”
The discovery of pipeline corrosion, and the shutdown to do emergency repairs, are the latest in a string of embarrassments for BP, which is based in London but has operations in the United States that are bigger than those of Exxon Mobil. Its troubles also come as Congress is debating whether to expand oil drilling on the North Slope. The House recently approved drilling for oil and gas in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, but the Senate has remained reluctant to act because of environmental concerns. Oil companies may now have a tougher time reassuring lawmakers.The discovery of corrosion in the pipeline caught BP by surprise, and as of yesterday, the company was still trying to determine the cause. As a result, it is re-evaluating how it conducts inspections along the pipeline.“We can’t explain it,” Ronnie Chappell, a spokesman for BP said. The company’s regular practice in Prudhoe Bay had been to spot-check sections of pipeline that were prone to corrosion.“We believed that this program was giving us an accurate view of what was occurring in these pipelines,” Mr. Chappell said. “But the discovery of this unexpectedly severe corrosion in this particular segment of line has caused us to rethink that.” Mr. Chappell said the pipes where the corrosion was detected had not been inspected with a “smart pig,” a device that travels through the inside to measure pipe wall thickness, since 1992. The reason the device was not used, he said, was that the pipes were too clogged with sludge for the device to pass through easily. But after a major spill in March along the same network of pipes, the Department of Transportation ordered inspections with the smart pig. Those tests revealed that the steel had corroded in 12 places on the eastern side of Prudhoe Bay to thicknesses less than BP considers safe. In those areas, tests found losses of 70 to 81 percent in the 3/8-inch thickness of the wall, the company said. In one area, it said, the equivalent of four to five barrels of oil had already leaked out of the pipeline because of the rusting. The company said that spill had been contained, and that workers were in the process of vacuuming it up from the tundra.Ten miles of the 16 miles of pipeline in the Prudhoe Bay field have yet to be inspected with the smart pig, raising the possibility that more severe corrosion could be detected. Six miles of pipeline at BP’s Lisburne field, near Prudhoe Bay, were not affected by the shutdown and remain operational.Because the company is uncertain how long it will take to make the repairs, the final cost of the emergency shutdown is difficult to estimate. The company said it had not yet done an analysis to determine the financial impact. The shutdown further sullied the reputation of BP as it was trying to re-engineer its marketing to project the image of an environmentally sensitive company committed to controlling climate change. BP executives were quick to acknowledge the dimensions of their new problem, which comes in the wake of a deadly refinery explosion last year in Texas and the 270,000-gallon spill on the North Slope in March. That spill, the worst since production began on the North Slope, has resulted in a federal criminal investigation.“BP deeply regrets that it’s been necessary for us to take this drastic action,” Bob Malone, president of BP America, said at a news conference. “I apologize for the impact this has had on our nation and to the great state of Alaska.” BP said it was studying the possibility of operating portions of the pipelines to reduce the disruption, but it is unclear whether it can do that. The Prudhoe Bay field was discovered in 1968 and came on stream in 1977, producing 10 billion barrels so far. BP operates the field, with nine other companies holding interests in field leases including ConocoPhillips and Exxon Mobil. ConocoPhillips estimated a loss of about 144,000 barrels a day in crude oil production. It said it did not know yet the impact of the loss on its overall operations. Exxon Mobil estimated a similar loss in production. Mr. Malone, the BP America president, acknowledged that the discovery of severe corrosion in the pipelines and the small oil spill had called into question the condition of most of the oil transit lines at Prudhoe Bay.“We will not resume operation of the field until we and government regulators are satisfied that they can be operated safely and pose no threat to the environment,” Mr. Malone said. The immediate price rise may have been even higher had the Bush administration not immediately signaled that it was ready to release oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to ease lost supplies. “I’m obviously concerned,” Energy Secretary Samuel W. Bodman told reporters as he promised to help West Coast refiners find additional supplies. OPEC quickly announced it would use its spare capacity to compensate for any shortfalls arising from the Prudhoe Bay field shutdown, but additional supplies expected from Saudi Arabia would be of a lower quality than the Alaskan supplies. Oil industry leaders said West Coast refineries could feel the pinch of shortages in crude in a matter of weeks, even with the release of strategic reserves since those reserves tend to have higher sulfur content than many of the California refineries are designed to process. Some of the West Coast refineries, however, are owned by major international companies that have easier access than other refineries to world supplies. “Practically all of this impact and loss of supply will occur on the West Coast,” said Bob Slaughter, president of the National Petrochemical and Refiners Association. But, he added, “One of the things we learned from Katrina and Rita is that a problem in one part of the U.S. quickly affects the entire U.S. and often the world supply and demand as well.” The shutdown spurred calls in Congress to give the Department of Transportation greater powers to impose stronger maintenance standards on pipelines and it brought more criticism of Big Oil at a time of historic profits.
“With oil above $70 per barrel and BP making record profits, it can afford to properly clean and maintain its pipelines,” said Representative Edward J. Markey, a Massachusetts Democrat and member of the House Energy and Commerce Committee. “This sudden loss of production will dramatically increase oil prices and the American people will be footing the bill for this combined failure of D.O.T.’s regulatory oversight and BP’s corporate responsibility.”
So, what the hell did you do with the 10 billion fuckin dollars in profit this last quarter? You haven't done maintenence in over a decade? Are you kidding me? Congress is acting very sanctimoniously over this but remember who has the biggest hand in THEIR pockets. Yep, big oil. There will be hearings then the oil companies will bitch slap these guys and threaten to withhold campaign $$, then it will all go away until next quarter when BP announces it has made $20 billion in profits.When will it all stop? When we all wake up and start using wind power, solar power and all over renewable sources. It's going to be hell on our kids no?
CD Review
Isn't this how the business is supposed to work? You go see a band and then go to your favorite neighborhood record store and buy their stuff? This is the best Cheap Trick release since "Dream Police". I have always admired this band but at one point they got bogged down in their own cuteness so to speak. This CD has been in my car for two weeks and I absolutely love it.
"Welcome to the World" starts off the CD with about 2 minutes of a preview of what's coming. Tight playing great harmonies and catchy, pop songs. "If It Takes a Lifetime" is their newest single..."it's being played all over the world" Rick Neilsen said in jest in concert. Absolutely a great power pop song, full of Robin Zander's excellent voice and Rick's still sanctimonious guitar. "This Time You Got It" is my favorite track, it sounds like CT did 25 years ago. "Every Night and Every Day" rock my world with of the greatest rhythm sections ever. (Nice to see Bun E. Carlos has made a recovery from his dance with the cancer demon). "O Claire" (a lullabye to Robin's daughter)sounds just like The Beatles. These guys have always had The Beatles in their back pocket but now this CD seems to be the piece of music that says .."we're back and we're bad." Cheap Trick has always been the Rodney Dangerfield of rock, getting no respect and all but damn, this 50 year old lifetime music fan says thanks for still being around and thanks for giving us your best effort in years. The CD is called "Rockford", named after their hometown and it's a return to their roots. It's good to have fun again. Cheap Trick's Tom Petersson says, "This new record has the best elements of our entire catalogue. It's by far our best work yet." Amen to that.
4 1/2 starts out of 5.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
To All Of Us Boomers
This has been around for a awhile, it's an old favorite of mine. Enjoy!
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE
1940's, 50's,and 60's !!
First, babies survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they
carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back
when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat
rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They
actually sided with the law! This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And we still say "Merry Christmas!"
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE
1940's, 50's,and 60's !!
First, babies survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they
carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back
when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat
rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They
actually sided with the law! This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And we still say "Merry Christmas!"
Deep Thoughts From My Friend Karl
Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives.
He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best. He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another. He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult times. The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply,he hardly took notice of her !
One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and wondered, "I now have four wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone." Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying,will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walked away without another word. Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.
The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?""No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good!When you die, I'm going to remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold. He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!",replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most,I can only walk with you to your grave" Her answer struck him like a bolt of lightning,and the King was devastated.
Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go."
The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was very skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"
In truth, we all have the 4 wives in our lives:
Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good,it will leave us when we die. Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others.
Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow
us wherever we go.
Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of us that will follow us to the throne of God and continue with us throughout Eternity.
He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best. He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another. He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult times. The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply,he hardly took notice of her !
One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and wondered, "I now have four wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone." Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying,will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walked away without another word. Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.
The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?""No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good!When you die, I'm going to remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold. He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!",replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most,I can only walk with you to your grave" Her answer struck him like a bolt of lightning,and the King was devastated.
Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go."
The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was very skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"
In truth, we all have the 4 wives in our lives:
Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good,it will leave us when we die. Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others.
Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow
us wherever we go.
Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of us that will follow us to the throne of God and continue with us throughout Eternity.
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