Saturday, April 05, 2008

Things Radio People Like Number 13

Outside of a dark production studio or dank, smelly on-air studio, a Radio Person feels most at home at Outback Steakhouse. It is risqué since its foreign but accessible since they speak English in Australia. When Outback Steakhouse was founded in 1998 in Tampa, FL few knew what a mark it would leave on the radio industry. But since it was well placed within driving distance to the legendary WFLZ, its culinary stranglehold on Radio People began to bloom.

Since then, Outback has become a place for Radio People to hold jock meetings, celebrate ratings, meet with their sales people, or record company reps. It’s also a great place to drown their sorrows after a period of “poor diary placement”, discuss HD Radio, have a send off to a downsized comrade, or just to ogle waitresses (since there isn’t a Hooters in their market).
While the theme of Outback restaurants are Australian (stuffed crocodiles, boomerangs, sting ray jokes, etc.) Radio People seem to flock to these restaurants not for the decor, but for the menu featuring reasonably priced steaks and most importantly, the infamous “Bloomin’ Onion".

A “Bloomin Onion” is the signature dish at Outback, and what better way to wet one’s appetite than with an onion that has been breaded, deep fried and blossomed to the tune of 2200 calories and 134 grams of fat. Radio people like nothing more than being able to ingest the maximum amount of calories in the shortest amount of time (they are lazy by nature), and the Bloomin Onion is the best way to accomplish this outside of the Triple Big Mac. This monstrous item is also a great centerpiece for meetings. You can always spot the Radio People in an Outback Steakhouse, they’re the ones in the back corner wondering who notices them and who average 1 “Bloomin’ Onion” per 2 Radio People (unless they are in sales or production…in that case double the average), and are usually asking their waitress for extra Cajun mayo aioli (usually referred to by Radio People as “the sauce”). Radio People love to follow up a freshly fried “Bloomin’ Onion” with one of Outback’s signature steaks. What could be a better way to wash down a battered and fried whole onion? Obviously, a steak that’s been grilled in butter!

So if you find yourself navigating any of our countries major highways or biways, take comfort in knowing that you’re only one or two exits from the next Outback Steakhouse, and there’s a damn good chance that it will be filled with Radio People hogging all the aioli.

1 comment:

Matt said...

Actually founded in 1988 - I just saw an add for their 20th anniversary year.

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