For My Radio Friends

Top row left to right: Tommy Edwards, Larry Lujack, Brant Miller.
Bottom Row left to right: Jeff Davis, Turi Ryder, Fred Winston
WLS circa 1984

You were in radio before 1970 if you...

Remember Joe Pyne and "Mooo-tual News!"
Threw away the transcription disk players to put in Tapecaster cart machines.
Can name the Conelrad frequencies...or even remember what Conelrad was.
Worked at a campus radio station that used carrier current transmission...on AM.
Managed to pass your "third phone" and took meter readings every thirty minutes during your on-air shift...or at least faked them.
Think Wolfman Jack or Clint Eastwood in "Play Misty for Me" is the greatest jock of all time.
Can name the first record you played by Elvis or The Beatles.
Wouldn't put a song on the air if it had "damn" or "hell" in the lyrics.
Got your start in the biz doing anything that had to be done at a daytime AM in Bum****, Egypt.
Bleeped out spots for Martini and Rossi vermouth during network newscasts because the station was located in a "dry" county.
Had an opening and closing theme song for your show.
Know what Don Imus did before WFAN and CNBC.
Carried a rate card with only two prices...one for thirties, one for sixties.
Got your first real job in radio on a classical music FM with a total audience of six people.
Know who Arthur Godfrey was...and probably ran board for his show somewhere.
Worked at a station where somebody who got fired loosened the bolts on the tower guy wires.
Scratched up tracks on an LP or a "B" side with a screwdriver so your jocks couldn't "accidentally" play them on the air.
Quoted ratings from Pulse and Hooper.
Stopped "spinnin' the hits" to join CBS News at the top of the hour.
Worked at a station where the weekend guy was always named Johnny Holiday and the night jock was named Dan Dark so the jingles didn't have to be changed when they ultimately got canned.
Got your on-air "chops" practicing in the production room after midnight.
Brought records from home to play on your show.
Got "hot-lined" by the owner...or the owner's wife.
Ever tried to hoist your station banner to the top of the competitor's tower.
Sent an aircheck to a prospective employer on reel-to-reel tape.
Had a show on the air that didn't fit the station's format at all...just because some sponsor had been buying that slot for years.
Air-checked your show on the big Ampex in the production room.
Tried to look up your old on-air staff and found some of them selling spots for the competition.

You were in radio before 1980 if you...

Ever had a client tell you that rock or country music would never make it on FM...and had an owner or GM who agreed.
Did a promotion to give away FM car-radio converters.
Put a quarter on a tone arm so it wouldn't jump off a warped demo 45 you just had to play...and it was the only copy the station got.
Could remember the intro time and the color of the record label on every song you played...but couldn't recite any of the lyrics except the first and last lines.
Know what PAMS were.
Ever sped up the turntable to get more songs in during an hour and to make the competition sound "draggy."
Worked at a campus radio station that was on FM but ran less than ten watts of power.
Started a 45 at 33 1/3 or vice versa...and didn't notice because you were on the phone with a listener of the opposite sex.
Air-checked your show on a boombox beneath the console.
Ever interviewed an artist on the air who was too stoned to be coherent.
Wouldn't put a song on the air that had any of George Carlin's famous words in it...but pretty much anything else went.
Sent an aircheck to a prospective employer on a cassette swiped from the sales office or newsroom.
Worked at a station that had a newsroom!
Can remember the first record you played by The Doors or Janis Joplin or the Allman Brothers.
Got your start in the biz running preacher tapes on Sunday morning.
Think either Scott Shannon or that guy in the movie "FM" is the greatest jock of all time.
Accidentally let a listener say something obscene on the air because you didn't really have a delay.
Got your on-air "chops" doing a 3 AM-to-5:30 AM shift for minimum wage.
Worked at a station where somebody got fired and, on his way out, ran a magnet up and down the commercial-cart rack.
Got "hot-lined" by the PD.
Had a customized jingle with your name in it.
Once pretended to (or maybe really did) smoke a joint on the air.
Got your first real job in radio...doing mid-days on an AM easy-listening station with a total audience of six folks.
Took a trip to a "showcase" at record company expense and never actually got around to hearing the label's act perform.
Worked the overnight shift and had to wake up the morning guy (who was sleeping off a bender on the lobby couch) so he could do his show.
Arranged to meet people of the opposite sex that you talked to on the request line, but some place where you could see them before they could see you.
Did a remote with a mic amp and a pair of alligator clips connected to the telephone mouthpiece.
Included the words "FM Stereo" as part of your legal ID.
Watched your music director put colored dots on each record shuck to tell you which category they belonged in.
Never worked for a station that was not actually licensed to the city where the studio was located.
Paid money for air checks of Don Imus, Don Steele, Cousin Brucie, Laryy Lujack, Fred Winston or other big market jocks so you could emulate their style.
Assumed that syndication meant "King Biscuit Flower Hour" and "Earth News."
Tried to look up your old on-air staff and found them working for an FM station somewhere.