The Rules of Love (with a rebuttal)

1. Getting angry at us for not reading your mind is like getting angry at yourself for not being able to fly. It's not just futile, it's physically impossible.
Definately number one. I hate to guess, there's a 50 percent chance I'll get it wrong

2. Yes, we do think Jessica Alba is hot. Sometimes we're even dumb enough to admit it.
Just cause we are on a diet, that doesn't mean we can't look at the menu.

3. Don't ask us to understand your shoe fetish. Asking us to respect it is even sort of pushing it.
In my pea brain, a whole closet of Reeboks is really too much.

4. You do look good without makeup, just not as good as you look with it.
Sorry, I disagree, nothing finer that a natural woman

5. Ever notice how we don't fight with our male friends? That's why we get so frustrated when we fight with you.
And please fight fair, bringing up junk just to hurt us does.

6. You care what you're wearing infinitely more than we do. In fact, if you're naked when you open the front door, you won't hear an argument from us.
As a matter of fact, I'd make it worth your while.

7. You don't like to get hit on in public, you don't want to date online and you don't want to be set up on blind dates. Tell us if sending messenger pigeons is an appropriate way of courting. Because if it is, we're all over it.
The age old problem, where or where do we meet women?

8. There should a statute of limitations on stupid things that we said that can come back to haunt us. I propose 24 hours.
Nah, two weeks is more like it, I promise I will do that same thing for you.

9. Cooking dinner for a man is like buying flowers for a woman, except it takes a lot more time, effort and thought for you to do it. Thanks. We appreciate it.
In fact, if you are cooking naked, you get extra points

10. We actually like your girly pet-names for us, but please, not in front of the guys!
I don't have a girly pet name: my three have been fine for the last 50 some years.

11. Just because we like looking at the women in Maxim doesn't mean we want to actually converse with the women in Maxim. Not for long, anyway.
Give me experience over "hot" any day.

12. Your nice guy friends are the most reliable source for telling you if your new boyfriend's a jerk. And he probably is. (By the way, you might want to consider marrying that nice guy who's giving you advice about the jerk.)
The best advice of them all.