Pearls Before Swine

That's funny. I don't care who ya are, that's funny.
Maybe the best comic strip in the paper.

Very Funny

Evolution of Math

Last week I purchased a burger and fries for $3.58.
The counter girl took my $4.00 and I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies. While looking at the screen on her register, I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.
Why do I tell you this?
Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s.

Teaching Math In 1950
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching Math In 2006
Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera para $100. La cuesto de su produccion era $80. Cuantas tortillas se puede comprar?

Equal Time

Here is a list of the 25 un sexiest women. Debra Jo Rupp? I think she's kind of hot. Kind. of.

That's Just Beautiful

I love women, always have. Love to look at beautiful ones, though I don't mean any harm. This is about as good as it gets. I don't know anything about her other than she has an awesome voice. This is just a celebration of all that is a beautiful woman.

The nice thing about this picture is that you can use your imagination.
And I have.

My Girls Part Two

Last week, it was the peonys, this week, the roses. Too bad I can't get these guys to bloom at the same time. Bastards!

Crap I am thinking about

There is a movement in St. Louis to get Willie McGee's number retired by the Cardinals. The petition is here. As previously explained, I am a huge Cardinal fan, have been since before birth. My mother and father went to a Cardinal game on their honeymoon. So did I. I think it would be absolutely fitting to have Willie's number retired. He was the example of class and humility. When asked about it yesterday on the TV news he said, "well, if it happens that's great, you know my job now is raising my kids, so if it doesn't happen, that's OK, too." Typical Willie. I never saw a guy go from first base to third any faster than Willie. It would be great to see his graceful portrait up on the left field wall. Let's make this happen
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I seem to give old people the benefit of the doubt while driving. I don't nearly get upset with them as I do others for being boneheads on the roads. I guess I figure they have earned it.
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I have been doing a great deal of work for an internet Smooth Jazz station. It's run out of the Bonneville "Palace on Ballas". It's been fun to get back into that music again for awhile. You can hear me on www.smoothvox.com

Post Number 303; 2 for 1 Special

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until
noon. Then it's time for my nap.
-- Bob Hope










Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
-- Phyllis Diller

I LOVE THIS STUFF

Jorn Olsen works for the Dutton-Lainson Co. in Hastings, Nebraska, and lives by Heartwell Park next to Hastings College. The other night he took these photos. The stadium lights are at the Hastings College stadium just east of his home. The clouds are called Mammatus clouds. They do not precede a tornado, or foretell a storm, but are formed when the air is already saturated with rain droplets and/or ice crystals and begins to sink. The worst of the storm is usually over when these kinds of clouds are seen. They are quite rare and really beautiful.
Thanks, KK

Al Gore on SNL

Was I dreaming or was Al Gore incredibly funny during last night's monologue on SNL?He did this speech to America about his presidency and discussed baseball commissioner George W. Bush's latest policy on steriods. He talked about all of the things he has invented in the last six years. It was funny and dead on. Nice chance to poke fun of himself. Too bad we didn't get to see that side of him whe he ran for president.

Post Number 300/A Toast To Me

It's only fitting that post number 300 would be about the beginning. May 12 1976 was my very first day on the air. If I remember correctly, it was a Saturday night and I had to climb the back stairs of WHBF AM in downtown Rock Island. This was a huge building and finding my way through the maze was thrilling. About two weeks before, I rode my motorcycle down to Washington Iowa and apply at KCII (which later on in life became one of my affiliates), just to get started. My marriage was in trouble and I just wanted to work. They didn't hire me in Washington. Having real long hair and riding in on a bike might have had something to do with it. I then met with Dick Stuart, PD of THE contry station in town. After boasting about my abilities and basically being confident in myself, Dick was overwhelmed and added me part time. My job was to make sure the automated FM stayed on the air and be witty and brilliant between country tunes on the AM. Believe it or not, the first song I played was "Chevy Van" by Sammy Johns. WTF? It was kinda country sounding but then the playlist resembled much of what was played back then. It was Merle, Ronnie Milsap, etc, etc. I was so thrilled when I was asked to fill in for the afternoon gal the next week when she went on vacation. I was so in awe. It was a drug. I was now hooked. I was pretty scared back then, not knowing where the future was going to lead me, but after a while, it all seemed to work out. I am sure it will this time. 30 years. I celebrated with chicken wings and a portabella sandwich at Culpepper's. I also played basketball twice on Friday. Not bad for an old guy. Here's a toast to all of the musicians and composers I have met throughout the years. Guys like Harry Chapin, Robin Trower, Van McClain, Nancy Wilson, John Mellencamp, Lou Reed, Dave Mason, Ozzy Osbourne, Paul Simon, Bob Seger, Max Weinberg, Jon Anderson,Bryan Adams, Steve Perry, Boz Scaggs, etc etc etc.

Brush With Greatness Part Nine

As close to Bruce as I ever got. This is of course "Mighty Max" Weinberg of the E Street Band. He was in town to be the grand prize of battle of the bands held at St. Louis Community College at Meramec. If your band won, you got the chance to have Max sit with your band and do Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll". He was also in town to promote his book "The Big Beat".



The book was his conversations with great drummers like Levon Helm, Hal Blaine, Russ Kunkel, Charlie Watts, Jim Keltner, Ringo and more. All of these guys reside in my list of favorites. Max was very personable, took phone calls and seemed to be a real decent guy. He told me that the sessions for "Born To Run" were absolutely horrible. He had just joined the band it was just the worst for him. He did very well. This guy is like clockwork and one of those guys who make it look so easy. The date was 4/1/86 taken in the KSHE studio in Crestwood behind the drive in. BTW, the winning band jammed with Max Weinberg and it was just awful. Robert Plant once called "Rock and Roll" a "race to the finish". No shit. Thanks, Max for a great time.

What the hell happened to all of my hair? This was my "apostolic" look

The Da Vinci Code

I enjoy being a Catholic for the most part. I joined the church during a time I felt they needed me as much as I needed them. In 2002, it was not cool to be associated with the church. Scandals abounded everywhere. I thought at that time, it was a good time to join. Fast forward to 2006. The Vatican and the Cardinals are all upset about The DaVinci Code, calling for boycotts. It's a work of fiction. Here's Tom Hanks' reaction. Way to go, Tom.

Bob Heil's Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame Exhibit

Yesterday, in a pouring rainstorm, I got to see my old friend Bob Heil. We had Bob on the Rock morning show a number of times. Bob makes top of the line headphones, microphones and other related sound items. Bob is also having an exhibit displayed at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. Bob found his calling when The Grateful Dead's sound guy got busted for drugs right before they stopped in St. Louis in 1970. Unfortunately, the constables confiscated their sound equipment. Bob to the rescue and he has been providing rock bands with top of the line equipment and advice for 36 years. I was there with Mike Anderson who runs the St. Louis Media website (and thanks Mike for some of the pictures), his son Jason, Radio Rich Dalton (St. Louis radio legend), Frank Nichols and Tom Calhoun who is the keeper of one of the finer blogs in cyberspace. Some highlights...

Here is Bob with the talkbox that Joe Walsh and Peter Frampton made famous.

Yes, that is one of the most famous microphones ever in rock and roll.

That is me thinking that this is one of the most famous microphones ever in rock and roll.

Bob Heil and yours truly.

I had speakers like this installed in an old Vega one time.

TShirts and merchandise available at the door.

Yes, this is the way we used to use a delay.

Yo girlfriend can go through, you have to stay back here.

This is a Quadraphonic board. Remember Quadraphonic? I do. I had a copy of Chicago 5 that sounded tres cool at that time. They quit making them however.

Jason Anderson, Mike Anderson, Bob, RadioRich and Tom Calhoun.

Bob told a story about how he told Pete Townshend one time that he didn't drink or smoke, but Pete replied, "you take care of the sound and we should use you to drive the bus". Bob's a great guy. Congrats, Bob and thanks for the preview.

Them's some good eatins...

Chiang Khong, Thailand - Fishermen in northern Thailand have netted a fish as big as a grizzly bear, a 646-pound Mekong giant catfish, the heaviest recorded since Thai officials started keeping records in 1981. The behemoth was caught in the Mekong River and may be the largest freshwater fish ever found.
"It's amazing to think that giants like this still swim in some of the world's rivers," said Dr. Zeb Hogan, a WWF Conservation Science fellow and leader of a new World Wildlife Fund (WWF) and National Geographic Society project to identify and study all freshwater fish over 6 feet long or 200 pounds. "We've now confirmed now that this catfish is the current record holder, an astonishing find."

The fish was caught and eaten in a remote village in Thailand along the Mekong River, home to more species of giant fish than any other river. Local environmentalists and government officials negotiated to release the record-breaking animal so it could continue its spawning migration in the far north of Thailand, near the borders of Thailand, Laos, Myanmar and China - also known as the "Golden Triangle"). But the fish, an adult male, later died. The species is declining, which fishermen in the region blame on upstream dams and environmental deterioration. The specimen is the largest giant catfish ever recorded; it is listed by the Guinness Book of World Records as the largest freshwater fish.

Today

I haven't blogged lately, just not much happening. Things get curiouser and couriouser on the job front. I have turned down a couple of things just cause the vibe isn't right. I am heading today to see the exhibit that Bob Heil is sending to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. Bob invented the "talk box" that made Joe Walsh and especially Peter Frampton famous. I guess Joe and Bob are still very good friends. Bob started his journey by helping the Grateful Dead replace their stolen sound equipment for a gig at the Fabulous Fox many years ago. He became friends with them and The Who and it goes on from there. His microphones are the industry standard and I am looking forward to seeing his exhibit. I will be taking pictures and will put them up when I get back. On a side note, Bob's daughter Julie helped us out at the Rock many years ago. She was so sweet and beautiful. She did the morning news updates on Good Morning America for the local ABC affiliate. We wanted her to do a "blue" reading of some copy but she kept changing the words because, "I'm not like that." A gal to take home to Mom, for sure. I wonder where she ended up. I will find out today.
Here's Bob and Jeff Beck. Bob was JB's sound guy for years Jeff friggin Beck! Wow!

Bye, dad.

Jeezix, how fast time is going. After returning from Cedar Falls to see my oldest daughter graduate last night, and after play practice, my youngest had a party to go to. These were good kids having the party, but when she says "bye, dad", with the words she just tosses over her shoulders, you wonder how long you have left. Will she disappear after high school or will she return until we kick her out? I think she will be gone for good, hardly if ever to return. I left home at 17, rarely to return and for good at 22 when I moved to KC.
While trying to sleep in the middle of the night(see previous post), the phone rings. A phone call at one a.m. is never expected and rarely good news. "Hey, I wanted to let you that I'll be home at 1:40 instead of 1:30, we are leaving now". Whew, thanks kid.
"Bye, dad".

Incredibly Fast

My daughter just graduated from college today. Wow. it sure goes by fast. Road trip to Cedar Falls, spend 10 minutes with Jess, watched her graduate then home. I was very proud when I heard "Jessica Marie Amelia Border" from the podium. I thought how very lucky I am. Jess, now real life sets in. Be wise and strong and know I love you. Pictures soon. I hope.

Be Bop Deluxe

A cross between Roxy Music, Bowie and Queen. Be Bop Deluxe was an eighties band that was out in the 70s. In the fall of 1975, I moved in with my cousin who lived in a trailer park in St. Charles. One of the great things about that stay was the great tunes I remember coming out of KSHE 95, especially late in the evening/early in the morning. "Maid in Heaven" from the album "Futurama" by Be Bop Deluxe was one of those songs. Once again, I wanted to hear more. These guys were tight, very melodic and could rock their ass off. With LPs like "Sunburst Finish" that featured "Ships In The Night", I would say these guys could hold their own with anyone. I never got to see BBD live, but I almost had the opportunity to talk to Bill Nelson once in KC. No one could ever figure out why I wanted to talk with this cat so much. Their loss. With that in mind, my five favorite BBD tunes:
1. "Maid In Heaven" from Futurama. Two minutes and forty five seconds of what Queen tried to do.
2. "Ships In The Night" from Starburst Finish. Power fucking pop.
3. "Adventures in a Yorkshire Landscape " from Axe Victim (I prefer the "Live! In The Air Age" version). David Gilmour has NOTHING on this song. Some of the best guitar work ever.
4. "Shine" from Live! In The Air Age. Is that a guitar he's playing? Wow!
5. "Sister Seagull" from Futurama. A painting in sound.
Honourable mention: "Fair Exchange" from Starburst Finish.
They were too good for "glam" and not great enough to make it. All of these CDs are now being rereleased and remastered. Buy them. These guys rock!
Be Bop Deluxe were sequined glam rock heroes, seemingly beamed down from an impossibly glamorous forgotten future-world. They were an intoxicating ‘70s phenomena filled with lipstick posturing, surrealistic lyrics and searing guitar solos from leader Bill Nelson’s semi-acoustic, cherry sunburst Gibson 345.

Now to celebrate the band’s 30th anniversary, the Be Bop Deluxe catalog is being reissued featuring bonus tracks and expanded CD booklets.
Go here to find out more.

Hard Times In The Land of Plenty

I just received an email from a friend (an old affiliate) Bill Page. Bill worked in Kennett and Caruthersville, in the bootheel of Missouri. Bill was the type of guy that would spend 12 hour days at his station because he loved the news. When the tornados came through Caruthersville not too long ago, Bill was there, keeping his town informed and making a difference to his community and racking up some awards. For that, he was let go. It gets more difficult as time goes on to sit back and look at all the changes happening seemingly overnight. A number of my friends are now unemployed or underemployed in this crazy radio business. I don't recall a time like this. It's seems to be happening everywhere. I hope some day I am in a position to help guys like Jay, Bill, Katey and the rest. I only wish I could do it now.

In the CD Player

"Weekend in LA" by George Benson. This takes me back a long way. Very soothing, very nice. the first time I ever heard Whitney Houstons's "The Greatest Love Of All" was when George sang it here. Not the greatest singer but this is a first rate live package. Benson is one of the guitar GREATS! Anyone who played with Wes Montgomery is good to go in my book. There's no "Breezin" or "This Masquerade" on here, but "On Broadway" is and it's still a fine example of a great guitar player at home in front of a crowd in L.A. I give it a B+.
Class dismissed.

My Girls

Right from my flower garden. I wish I could get them and the roses to bloom at the same time. I threaten every year to cut them down. They are getting very big. Peonys. They smell great too. In a week, they will be all gone.

Death..Explained

A sick man turned to his doctor,as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said,"Doctor, I am afraid to die.Tell me what lies on the other side." Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know." "You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?" The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door,
a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing...

I know my Master is there and that is enough."

Thanks KK

My Friend Katey...

...has been in radio since 1980. We worked together in KC for a long time. I have seen her at her best and at her worst. I believe that is what friends are for. She was unceremoniously dumped by the new owners of her station. When I was working for Learfield, I talked with someone in Cumulus about their takeover of Susquehanna. His quote to me was "Half of those people are gone...we don't operate radio like they do." Too bad. Katey was one of those people. She had never been fired from the business (unfrickinbelievable)until this week. As much as I know her boss, it must have broken his heart, too. A lot of my old friends in KC will lose thier jobs over this takeover. I wish them all well, especially Katey, who I feel was someone that I taught and helped mold into a broadcaster. This is a shitty business and now she will get the preverbial question...can't you do something else? Can an auto mechanic suddenly become a lawyer? You are what you are and will always be what you are. I am a great radio guy. Katey was an awesome radio person. I hope she will be OK.

Sleep...please.

I have counted sheep, taken Melatonin, read, drank warm milk (ew) and I can't sleep. I have exercised until I am blue in the face and it doesn't make me tired. I seem to go through these periods, where no matter what I do, I just.can't.get.to.sleep. If I am a bit cranky, I hope you will understand. Any ideas?
I will NOT see my doctor about this yet, because I will NOT get addicted to sleeping pills. (it's in my genes.) What to do, what to do.

A Very Funny Talent Show Entry

The students at Gordon College in Massachusetts had a talent show and to me, this is the ultimate winner.
A real life re-enactment of the SuperMario Nintendo Game. Very creative.
You can see it here

At Fifteen

I am going to kick your....well, maybe not.
I am reminded of the song "At 17" by Janis Ian. Except that I wasn't 17, and not a lesbian. Although with a little practice...

The Four Horsemen

Plagurism Alert. I stole this picture from an online forum. I couldn't help it. Being a Cardinals fan from inutero, these guys were the best.

Awesome! Think you would want to charge the mound after Gibby sends one at your head? He'd pull a Nolan Ryan/Robin Ventura on you.

BIRD FLU HITS AMERICA!!!!

And the carnage is unbelievable. This scene was apparently taken in front of my ex inlaws house. Warning, gruesome photo ahead....












Thanks, KK.

So Long Old Friend

It has been brought to my attention that an old friend will be saying so long. Power 97 in Sedalia was what a "true" classic rock station should be. Their slogan was "Sure, we play the same 300 songs that every other station plays, but we also play 1700 more" or something like that. With an incredible signal, I was actually able to listen to these guys while driving from St. Louis to Jefferson City every morning. They would play things like "South City Midnight Lady" by the Doobie Brothers and other GREAT songs that "classic rock" stations won't play (thanks again, Lee). "Rosewood Bitters" by Micheal Stanley was another fave that no other station would even touch. It was run by Bill Barrick and mornings were done by my bud Ken Dillon. It seems like yesterday when we all sat down at a BBQ joint in Sedalia and talked about the future of the station and radio in general with my job for Learfield. I'm gone and now so are they. KPOW has been sold and basically, from what I hear, it's time to turn out the lights. Bill quit and Ken has been banished to the AM. Sometimes, this business really sucks. Why is it that we keep coming back for more beatings? Why do us radio guys like getting hit in the head with a sledgehammer time and time again? Why do we enjoy standing at the altar waiting for the most beautiful woman in the world to break our hearts again? And again? Those are very good questions, but I have no answers because, you see, I am in denial. Is it too late to get a degree in psychology?
R.I.P. Power 97 You guys did your job well.

Roy Clark

A number of shows are now coming to our local casino in St. Louis. They seem to be doing well, too. Blue Oyster Cult and .38 Special have both sold out two shows. The guy that I really want to see is Roy Clark. This maybe the most underrated guitar player on the planet. Roy was a regular in our house growing up because he was on "Hee Haw' all the time. If he plays "Malaguena" I will smile. If he plays "Yesterday, When I Was Young," I will shed a tear. Great musicians and songwriters have that effect on me.