Tuesday, November 11, 2008

And That's How The Fight Got Started



1: When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
her someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas
station..... and that's how the fight started....

2: I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller
Light for $14.95.. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream
for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at
night than the cold cream. And that's how the fight
started.

3: After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter
asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I
looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
have to go home and come back later. The woman said,
'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver
hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she
processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I
excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your
pants. You might have gotten disability, too'. And
that's how the fight started.....

4: My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her
drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked,
'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed,
'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn't been sober since' 'My God!'
says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And that's how the fight started.....

5: I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed
and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't
believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car,
looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one
are you?' And that's how the fight started.....

6: I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip
steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't
you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order
for herself.' And that's how the fight started.....

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