Abbott and Costello on Computers...

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
"Who's on First" might have turned out something like this:

Costello calls to buy a computer from Abbott

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac

COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need.

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer. How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money

ABBOTT: Why not THEY OWN IT!




(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off

ABBOTT: Click on "START".............