One of the Best Editing Jobs Ever, You've Been Rick Rolled

How to Be A Server

Waiting tables is tough work, no question. It can be a drag or it can be great. I have waited a few tables in my day and I got this from the New York Times Small Business section (what the heck am I doing reading the Times?)
Here are fifty things you can do to be a better server and I tip accordingly.

1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.
2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?” Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.
3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.
4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.
5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.
6. Do not lead the witness with, “Bottled water or just tap?” Both are fine. Remain neutral.
7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.
8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.
10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.
11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.” Even if there are only two lobsters left.
12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.
13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.
14. When you ask, “How’s everything?” or “How was the meal?” listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.
15. Never say “I don’t know” to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.”
16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.
17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, “Who’s having the shrimp?”
19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.
21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.
23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.
26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.
27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.
28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing the cork.
29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better.
30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.
31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.
32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.
33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot of customers.
35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.
36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage.
37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice.
38.Do not call a guy a “dude.”
39. Do not call a woman “lady.”
40. Never say, “Good choice,” implying that other choices are bad.
41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.
42. Do not compliment a guest’s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.
43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It’s irrelevant.
44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose intolerant or diabetic.
45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.
46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.
47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests.
48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more; remember or consult the order.
49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.
50. Do not turn on the charm when it’s tip time. Be consistent throughout.

R I P Norton Buffalo

21:11 PST PARADISE (BUTTE COUNTY) -- Norton Buffalo, harmonica virtuoso, one-of-a-kind performer and consummate accompanist to the stars,died Friday night from cancer in Feather River Hospital, near his home in Paradise (Butte County). He was 58. Mr. Buffalo, who appeared on more than 180 albums and spent 33 years as a member of the Steve Miller Band, was diagnosed with cancer in September. His life will be celebrated Jan. 23 at the Fox Theater in Oakland in a benefit concert starring the Steve Miller Band and the Doobie Brothers,with special guests Huey Lewis, George Thorogood, Charlie Musselwhite and Bonnie Raitt. "He was the antithesis of East Coast cynical," said Raitt, who spent Sunday morning watching Buffalo videos on YouTube. "He was always in funny mode without being too gooey about it. He's been that guy all this time. In one guy, you got all the hope and optimism of the '70s." Mr. Buffalo played on the Grammy-winning Doobie Brothers album "Minute byMinute," and the recent children's music CD by Kenny Loggins. With Bette Midler, he played in the band and acted in the film "The Rose." He collaborated on tours and a series of recordings for more than 20 yearswith blues guitarist Roy Rogers. One of their songs, "Ain't No Bread inthe Breadbox," was a cornerstone in the '90s live repertoire of the JerryGarcia Band. "Norton Buffalo was a character and a half," Rogers said. "He had a sense of humor. He liked to have a good time, and the joy of his playing came out." Miller said: "He was a complete original. He worked with all kinds of people. He did tons and tons of projects. Everybody who worked with himl oved him, really enjoyed working with him." Mr. Buffalo joined the Steve Miller Band in 1976 at the beginning of the"Fly Like an Eagle" tour and has remained a constant presence in Miller's music ever since. Miller invariably introduced Mr. Buffalo to concert audiences as "my partner in harmony." "He had way more music in him than I could use," Miller said. "I just had more work for him than everybody else." Mr. Buffalo's own recordings include his 1977 Capitol Records release,"Lovin' in the Valley of the Moon," an album that maintains a strong cult following, and a 2000 blues-based release, "King of the Highway." Herecently released a joint CD with Hawaiian slack key guitarist George Kahumoku Jr. He was a virtuosic and technically accomplished chromatic harmonica player who could play anything - blues, rock, pop, country,folk, show tunes. Born in Oakland and raised in Richmond, Mr. Buffalo was raised in a musical family. His father played harmonica, and his mother sang in '40s San Francisco night clubs. His great-uncle, Herbert Stothart, was a Hollywood soundtrack composer who won an Academy Award for his work on"The Wizard of Oz." "His harp could become the valley of the moon, Krakatoa, a storm out at sea, then the sweetest sound this side of heaven," said Grateful Dead drummer Mickey Hart, who played with Mr. Buffalo in a project called High Noon in the '70s and '80s. Mr. Buffalo joined one of the final editions of Commander Cody and his Lost Planet Airmen on a 1976 European tour, before returning to the Bay Area and forming the Norton Buffalo Stampede, a band that headlined Bay Area clubs for several years. In between tours with Miller and Rogers, Mr.Buffalo had been appearing recently with the Norton Buffalo Trio with his third wife, Lisa Flores. He is survived by his wife; children, Aisah of Lake Tahoe and Elias of Sonoma; stepchildren, Sierra Ruelas of Sonoma and Bo Winterburn of San Diego; father, Ken Jackson of Paradise; and five brothers and sisters. Roy Rogers and the Delta Rhythm Kings, Tom Rigney and Flambeau and theCarlos Reyes Band will appear Nov. 22 in a benefit and memorial at theParadise Performing Arts Center in Paradise. Funeral and other memorial plans are pending.

Norton's "Loving in the Valley of the Moon" was one of my faves. the song "Another Day from that LP is still in my top ten of all time. here is that video (quality notwithstanding). such a sweet song....

Of Football and Baseball...Basketball and music

As someone said..."it was as if your ex girlfriend showed up at the 25th year reunion with George Clooney." Brett Favre may be the greatest football player I have ever seen in person. That goes for Montana, Marcus Allen, John Elway, etc, all of whom I have seen live. I saw Brett play the Chiefs in the mid nineties and while the Chiefs beat them, Green Bay was never out of the game. He decides he doesn't want to play there anymore, spurns them and then puts the dagger in the heart of all Packer fans everywhere. While I thought Green Bay would show all why they are special fans, they dragged themselves down with the unbelievably hostile greeting. Stay classy Green Bay and while you do have a pretty decent guy as quarterback, no one will ever replacate the swagger and gunslinger attitude that Favre did in your city for so many years. The NFC title will go through New Orleans this year, but a Minnesaot with Favre and New Orleans with Brees championship game would be ideal. Might even make me a fan again. I won't ever jump off the Chiefs bandwagon, but it's "Tough Times in the Land of Plenty" as Larry Johnson continues to make an asss of himself. He needs Priest Holmes or Christian Okoye to punch him in the mouth.

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Throw the slider, Brad...I kept repeating this mantra all ninth inning while Lidge kept throwing fastball after fastball. I have NO dog in this hunt, but I would hate to see a cheater like ARoid win his first series. I can not stand the Yankees and I am rooting for the Phillies to make a come back of epic proportions. By the body language of the Phils and their continued boneheaded plays that anit gonna happen. "Who's on third, no he's on first, I don't know is on third." Jimmy Rollins is the infield captain and no one thought it might have been at least a good idea to slow down, have a meeting on the mound and make sure this was covered. What to do if this happens? How about this? Gah. That was a tught way to lose a game. And the series. Not being prepared and not enough communication. That will derail most plans. Is it college basketball weather yet?





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So Mizzou is picked to finish seventh in the Big 12? People must know more than I do, because I still think they have a decent team, even with everyone graduating. I am too much of a homer. KU is picked to win the whole thing come March. I love this time of year. I will actually make an attempt to go see SLU more, maybe they will be a sleeper, because the Rick Majerus era has yet to live up to expectations. The Hawkeyes? Who knows?





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Leonard Cohen comes to the Fox on saturday night. Since my finances are in a bit better shape, I'm going. I know very little about his music (thanks, Brad for the best of CDs) but recognize "Suzanne" and "Hallelujah". He is in the rock and roll hall of fame and I have a buddy coming in from KC who loves him. He's in his 70s now and probably won't be doing this much longer, so I will go. So far, his music sounds like a New York version of the singer/songwriter type. I get a number of influences from his music and enjoy it very much. Apparently, his manager stole millions from him and this is the only way he can recover some of that money is by going out on tour. In my seventies, I hopw I'm yelling at the kids to get out of my yard. At the Fox, this show should be very sweet.
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Basketball and weigh in tonight at the Y. Can I lose 15 pounds before January 1? We'll find out.

Springsteen and Baseball and Music

Last Sunday night might have been the night that made me rethink something I said a couple of years ago. "There are very few things that bring me the feeling of awe." I may be paraphrasing myself but it was something along those lines. When I was a kid, it seemed everything was new and awesome, so to speak. A great rainbow can still do it (I have no idea why) but other than that, not much. Last Sunday night Esther and I got into the car at 4:50 and headed downtown to one of our favorite restaurants, the Key West in Union Station. We had an order of chicken wings, many top shelf margaritas and got ourselves ready for the guy who defines and sings about my life more than anyone at this time, Bruce Springsteen. I am so incredibly lucky to live in a city that allows me the opportunity to go downtown at 2pm and get newly released production seats which were literally 50 feet from the stage. I don't think my friends in the Quad Cities are allowed that luxury. After the appetizer at Key West, on with the show. At 8:15, the band comes out and continually hits me on the head with a sledgehammer. I am in tears early and often. From the opening "Wrecking Ball" to "Rosalita", he has me in the palm of his hands. Incredibly playful, during "Hungry Heart", he body surfs the audience from halfway back in the arena to the front. "Surprise Surprise" was a great birthday present to a fifteen year old fan who he doted over the entire show. She'll be a die hard till death. The sign collection brought an open-ended request for Bruce to play piano — "An elegantly made sign... somebody went to the stationary store and did themselves proud!" — and he obliged with a solo rendition of "For You" that was stunning. We got lucky to have "Born to Run" done in its entirety. "Roll Over Beethoven" was his tribute to Chuck Berry, "After all, it is St. Louis". Nothing from "Magic" and only two from the new album. Awe inspiring, like him and his band, THE greatest American rock and roll band EVER!! Here's the set list: Wrecking Ball, Seeds, Prove It All Night, Hungry Heart, Working on a Dream, (Thunder Road, Tenth Avenue Freeze out, Night, Backstreets, Born to Run, She's the One, Meeting Across the River, Jungleland) Waitin' on a Sunny Day, Working on the Highway, The Promised Land, Lonesome Day, The Rising, Badlands' No Surrender *For You (solo piano) Roll Over Beethoven, Surprise, Surprise, Detroit Medley American Land, Dancing in the Dark, Rosalita. AWE inspiring american rock and roll.
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Baseball has become a wussified sport. While the NFL has gotten tougher and the NBA seems to encourage toughness, baseball is truning into a wussifed shell of it's former self. Case in point...the constant preening and admiration of home runs from the batters box. Last night Nick Swisher (who?) of the Yankees got his first psotseason home run and preened. Watched it go but there is no bigger offender than Alex Rodriguez. Hit it, watch it, admire it, preen. I only wish there was someone with Bob Gibson or Nolan Ryan's testicular make up playing today. I swear they would put an end to this. The next time someone stands and admires it, either one of these guys would hit the next five batters along with the guy in the on deck circle and dare you to charge the mound. Wussies, all of them. What the hell has happened to the quality of umpires? Why should you need replay if you watch the friggin' ball at all times. It's easy. Fair or foul? In or out? You have eyes, use them. I cut them slack for the bang bang plays decided by .0001 of a second, but it's either in or out. Call it. I still stand by my earlier prediction...Phillies in 7.
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I must take off twenty pounds and do it now. Follow me on my journey. I will weigh myself at the Y tomorrow night and then again on December 31. I hope to be down at least fifteen. We shall see. It's all about more calories going out than coming in. Are two a days in my near future?




With that in mind, I hit the pavement with the grand dog and did about 70 minutes. Here's what I had to listen to...
"The Grind"-Tommy Bolin
"Last of the Singing Cowboys"-Marshall Tucker Band
"Lady Elenor"-Landisfarne
"Heartbeat City"-The Cars
"Good Time Living"-3 Dog Night
"In My World"-Moody Blues
"Masters of War" (even jesus would never forgive you for what you do)-Bob Dylan
"Live and Let Die"-Wings
"Independence Day"-Bruce Springsteen
"She's Gone"-Hall and Oates
"Rainfall"-Shooting Star
"The Crunge"-Led Zeppelin
"Midnight Madness" Foghat


What a gorgeous day, one filled with awe and hope.

OK....OK....OK

I had no idea so many people read this stupid thing. 37 emails and countless suggestions on facebook has made me realize that, for some sick and twisted reason, you knuckleheads actually believe anything I say... you know I'm kidding. I am humbled by the response on the hiatus. That's all it was, a hiatus. So many things have happened since we last spoke. Let's just say that "I'm not here to talk about the past."

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I have sinned against you oh king of the blogoshere. I have cheated and been spending most of my time with another lover. Facebook has taken up a great deal of my time. Let me put it like this...facebook reminds me of a beautiful woman who turns heads everywhere she goes. Perfect figure, streamlined, ready for action...but, somehow shallow and not quite ready to pledge her undying love and consistantly leaves you at the altar (wait a minute, I just described radio). Blogging is the woman who is a bit rubenesque, but a better friend you'll never find and grateful for any and all time you spend with her. Eager to please and still sexy but not head turningly beautiful. Blogging is the one you take home to mom and to bed. Facebook is the one you take out to impress your friends. I promise to spend more time with the real and less with the fantasy

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I am at a good place in my life. Things are going well, the storm has passed and I am battening down for the winter. I am in a much better place than I was six or even twelve months ago. I need to lose 20 pounds fast but other than that, I consider myself blessed. I had a great time in Springfield doing the talk show thing. I was embraced by the listeners and the management. I really started to feel comfortable and confident doing it and it could have led to bigger and better things. As we all know, life happens, time gets short and you wake up realizing like the old Frank Sinatra song says I am in the September of My Years and would like to grow old with the ones I love. I needed to be grounded and not make my living my leaving every Monday then to return home on Friday. Too many things happen and can happen. Peace be with me.

John Hughes

Here's a guy who has his own movie genre named after him. People were always looking for the next John Hughes movie. Dead of a heart attack at 59. Ouch. That's close. Personally, I was on the air when most of these movies were in the local cine. From what I remember, he had his finger pretty much on the pulse of the youth. I found his movies entertaining, fun and for the most part, sweet with usually a nice nice ending. Although he used profanity when needed and he did it very well. The Clark Griswold melt down in "Vacation" is classic. He basically disappeared from public eye, his last public photograph was in 2001. Now, that's the way to do it. Make your money and then say goodbye, see ya, ya gotta have a four wheel drive to find me. I hope he enjoyed his later year, which sounds very strange, coming from a guy six years behind him. All I can say is nice work, man, you made us laugh and think. Your characters were superb,well thought out and well defined.

I would rate my faves as this way, right now, today..
1. National Lampoons Vacation
2. Ferris Buellers Day Off
3. Uncle Buck
4. Sixteen Candles
5. Planes, Trains, etc.

There are people who have the complete opposite view, and one of those views can be found here. Agree or disagree? He's one of the few directors that has music at the forefront of his movies. Music. There it is again. Here's a look back:

"National Lampoon's Vacation" (this clip is definitely not for work or kids)

The song? "Holiday Road" by Lindsay Buckingham.

The Breakfast Club

The song? "Don't You Forget About Me" by the Simple Minds (great song, too)

"Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

The song? "Twist and Shout", "Danke Shoen"

"Sixteen Candles"

The song? Nightranger, Billy Idol, Stray Cats

"Planes, Trains and Automobiles"

No song, but Al Hofer on the radio.

"Pretty in Pink"

The song? Helped revitalize the Psychedelic Furs career

And also great movies without music.....

Uncle Buck



very sweet movie, maybe my favorite of his



"Home Alone"

No song, great movie without one

High School Reunion

"I'm standing before my old high school, it's been 35 yrs since I touched the door.

But to heal the old pain we must face it again so I'll walk down that hallway once more.

I have come to this 35 yr reunion for my heart is still prisoner of war.

And if I find it's alright we're escaping tonight, that's what I came back here for.

Won't you please waltz with me?

I feel like I'm just like I used to be my heart is locked up here so quietly believing that you hold the key.

Won't you please waltz me free?

The turns of our steps are untangling me, free from some dragged around memory and the rusty old remnants of fear.

And after 35 years, I'm melting the shackles with tears.

I'm as nervous as if its still high school, you're happily married I know.

But it's not just this dance that I'm asking you for, I'm asking you ten years ago.

Remember I wrote in your yearbook? Could you please waste some time on me?

There's just a few things I must tell you,but that's as brave as I could be.

Won't you please waltz with me?

I feel like I'm just like I used to be my heart is locked up here so quietly believing that you hold the key.

Won't you please waltz me free?

The turns of our steps are untangling me, free from some dragged around memory and the rusty old remnants of fear.

And after 35 years, I'm melting the shackles with tears.

-David Wilcox "The Last Chance Waltz" from "Home Again"

I can picture it as if it was yesterday. Walking through the halls of a school so big, it had two campuses. Hard to believe that in one of the smallest cities in the Quad Cities (there are actually five cities there, but East Moline was kicked out for bad behaviour), our school had one of the highest enrollments. The school not only serves East Moline, but Silvis, Colona, Green Rock, Carbon Cliff, etc. The school was not for the timid or meek at heart and since East Moline is situated on the wrong side of the tracks (the whole town, figuratively and literally), you can imagine this boys struggle to acclimate myself into the multi cultured fabric of United Township High School after coming from the lilly white southern Missouri town of Ava (pop. 2500). See, that was another thing that made us feel special. It was Moline High, Rock Island High, Bettendorf High, Davenport Central, East, and West but no, instead of East Moline High we were United Township. The north campus was reserved for the freshman and sophomores, perched high a top a hill close to the boundary of Silvis. On a good day, you could look out the window and see John Deere and all it's foundries and manufacturing plants, back when John Deere HAD a foundry and manufacturing plants. The plants were usually humming with people working all three shifts, seven days a week. I'm not sure what's going on in those buildings now. We used to call north campus "The Prison" because, from a distance, it looked like one, sans the barbed wire. North campus became so overcrowded, (notice how big the classrooms were on the slideshow below) lunch was served in three shifts, you were lucky if you had first shift because third shift was actually somewhere closer to one oclock. I developed my first crush on a teacher there. Pamela Newborn was my English teacher, a very young black woman who was simply stunning. I never missed her class. Mr. Diaz was my history teacher and if we got all of our work done, he'd let us bring in records to play on Friday. I believe he is now the principal. Those kids now are lucky, he was a great teacher and a great human being. Did I say that East Moline was multi cultured? Understatement. We were hispanic before being hispanic was cool. I ran around with guys with the last name of Soliz, Alejo, Martinez and Terronez. I learned about Santana and Malo from them and they learned about Led Zeppelin, Wishbone Ash, Blue Oyster Cult and Humble Pie from me. One of my best friends was the son of the preacher at the local Southern Baptist Church with an afro to die for. DaVoss Murray was another guy I palled with. DeVoss was Al Green, always trying to be so cool and he usually was. That was one thing I couldn't pull off. Being Al Green, that is. As old as it was, (built in 1913) it had a certain charm. Kind of like an old Victorian mansion that was rumoured to be haunted. One of my clsses in my sophomore year required me to be bused to the hallowed halls of South Campus which was reserved for the big kids (juniors and seniors). Five minutes before the bell rang, I'd have to be dismissed early from Latin class (thank God) and catch the bus to south campus, where I would arrive at class five minutes late. Five minutes before that class was over, I'd catch the bus to go back to north campus where I would arrive five minutes late. I felt very special. The summer of 1972 was the "transition year" going from the north to the south. South Campus was newer, cleaner and much more fun. Smoking dope in the parking lot (for reference, see the opening scene of "Dazed and Confused") and then piling in to SC was one sure sign that you weren't a kid anymore. The teachers were cooler and better (or so I thought anyway) with a journalism teacher that allowed us to build a radio station in the back of his class. "Only if you can get the parts yourselves." That summer between junior and senior year was spent pleading with local stations to give us their scrap parts so John "Ohm" Perkins could fix them. Writing stories for the school newspaper was a blast and the subject of most of them was...wait for it..surprise...music! My review of "Goats Head Soup" by the Stones contained the line.."this is the first Stones album that marks the decline of what once was the greatest rock and roll band on Earth. They hit their apogee with "Exile" and it will be a long, slow, painful descent from that peak." Pretty spot on if I do say so myself. My good friend Mike was not pleased. "The only musical taste you have is in your mouth." Critics. I remember loaning my copy of "Catch Bull at Four" to a gal (no names) because she wanted to listen to it and I wanted to make a great impression and then being horrified when it came back to me in almost pieces. "Sorry about that", and then she proceeded to date my arch rival. Bitch. The thing that tied it all together was music. From "Maggie Mae" to "Sundown" and "Annies Song", I don't think the quality of music from 1971-1974 has ever been duplicated. Great albums and great pop songs (Roberta Flack, Neil Diamond and the Carpenters still slay me). 35 years. Where's it gone? I can't fathom the things and the memories that have washed under the bridge since then. Marriage twice, three kids, grandkids and an incredible career in radio that I could have only dreamed about, NEVER in my wildest fantasies did I think it would have turned out like this. It will be great to see some of those people just to say the lines that Toby Keith once made famous.. "how do you like me now?" It will be just great to see others and catch up on how we got this far. In a class our size, a number of them have passed, some I didn't know about til recently (Kevin Claeys). I've met presidents, almost a Beatle, Bob Seger, John Mellencamp, almost Bruce Springsteen (Max Weinberg) and spent the last 32 years playing for a living. The ties that have bridged those years are few and far between, but the one strong thread, the one thing that will transport me back in time was, is and will always remain one thing...the music. Here's to Lobo, Edward Bear, Hurricane Smith, Mouth and McNeil, Don McClean, War, the Ohio Players, the Ojays, etc etc.
35 years, where'd it go?

Bart Simpson-State of Mississippi Separated at birth?

Proud of America

Killed in action the week before, the body of Staff Sergeant First Class John C. Beale was returned to Falcon Field in Peachtree City, Georgia, just south of Atlanta, on June 11, 2009.
The Henry County Police Department escorted the procession to the funeral home in McDonough , Georgia . A simple notice in local papers indicated the road route to be taken and the approximate time.
Nowadays one can be led to believe that America no longer respects honor and no longer honors sacrifice outside the military. Be it known that there are many places in this land where people still recognize the courage and impact of total self-sacrifice. Georgia remains one of those graceful places. The link below is a short travelogue of that day's remarkable and painful journey. But only watch this if you wish to have some of your faith in people restored

An Opportunity to Express Yourself

Here is something you will hear a lot about on the air.....


Poor Thespians Productions is now accepting play submissions of any length for our In Memoriam Series. Submitted works must have a positive military theme and must allow for minimalist staging. The deadline for submissions is Monday, January 4, 2010. Select plays will be performed in mid-May. Playwrights will be notified of their acceptance into the series by the following Monday, January 11.

Please send a hard copy of all plays, with pertinent contact information to:
Poor Thespians Productions “In Memoriam Series”
437 East Locust
Bolivar, MO 65613

If you have questions regarding your play, the submission process, or the series itself, please feel free to contact me at poorbryant@gmail.com.

A Good Friday Read

Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!
The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so... love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.
Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Stunned

The biggest music story since the Lennon murder and the story that will overwhelm us for the next few weeks. Maybe, the most recognizable face on the planet. Along with Elvis and The Beatles, Michael Jackson influenced not only music but culture. MTV was never the same after him, his dance moves and ground breaking videos paved the way for a completely new generation of performers. KY 102 in Kansas City played "Beat It", over the tumultuous objections of the masses. We would have never ever considered any other artist of that pop genre. I started listening to him and his brothers in the summer of 1970. "The Love You Save" blasted out over the crackling AM radio waves from cities far away. Then "ABC", "I'll Be There", "Never Can Say Goodbye" and "Ben' From 1972 to 1979, his career didn't shine so brightly. In 1979, "Off the Wall" was about as good as it got. It got better in 1982. "Thriller" has sold 45,000,000 copies and is one of the best selling albums of all time. He released "Bad" and then it all went south. Constant surgeries, weirdness and charges of child molestation tarnished all he accomplished and made him seem down right creepy. Like Van Gogh, he crossed the fence from being crazy to a genius consistently. I could not ever imagine growing up like that, having been pushed and manipulated to an exponential degree. We wonder why he was "eccentric".
I feel more bummed and sad than I thought I would. Yes, I know he's been accused of some heinous crimes. He was one of the more strange men on the planet. He was also quite the performer. I saw him and his brothers at Arrowhead in 1984. They were all about one inch tall, that's how far away the seats were. I'll never forget that night because it was the first night of the reunion tour. I brought my niece and a friend's daughter. They squealed.
From Elvis, to The Beatles, to Michael Jackson. This is one of those moments in your life that you will remember exactly where you were when you heard the news. I was prepping for the show when the local sales manager said .."you won't need any show prep, Michael Jackson just died." I tried to get it confirmed before I went on the air. TMZ had it, no one else. I interviewed the author of "Etta", a story of Etta Place, the girlfriend of The Sundance Kid, played a game, talked about what a weird day it was, then at about 5:27, it broke on the national news and I announced it. Still find it difficult to comprehend. Someone somewhere today put it like this: "The only thing that can eclipse the strangeness of the last 20 years of his life...was the pure genius that was Off The Wall and Thriller."
Amen.

One of my favorite songs by him:

Rivendale Institute

Here is the website for the Rivendale Institute that was featured on Wednesday's show.

This is very creative

New Rules of the Universe

Rules of the Universe
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
6. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)
7. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
8. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
9. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
10. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth.. Deal with it. Embrace your differences. Love each other.
13. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
14. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
15. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
16. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.
17. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
18. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
19. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
20. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
21. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
22. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
23. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
24. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'
25. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
26. You should not confuse your career with your life.
27. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
28. Never lick a steak knife.
29. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
30. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
31. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
32. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
33. Your friends love you anyway.
34. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
35. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Thanks, Ed

For being a decent guy and a great interview. I invited you into my home every night and you never took it for granted. Your interviews were fun and you had the best laugh of just about anyone I know. Now, you are Johnny's sidekick again, and if you could say so, I'll bet you'd say it's a pretty sweet gig. You got "it" and this old radio dog says you were a pleasure to have in my bedroom every night... "Hyoooooo" indeed. Thanks for the intro to the show, too. So you and Phil Hartman are trading...."you are correct sir...yes!" aren't you?

Ick.

Case Closed

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ....... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach..

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Back In The Saddle

This is post number 1532. Hard to believe that in about four years, I've posted this many times. It would make a great movie, huh?
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Lucas Glover? Lucas Glover? Nice to see someone other than Tiger or Phil win it. I know how to play golf, but that's about it. If you give me golf on TV, I'll give you a nap. Nothing knocks me out faster than golf or baseball on TV.
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Speaking of baseball (see how this all fits together, that's called a segue, kids), I think I am witnessing one of the truly great players of all time. If Albert Pujols keeps this up, he'll have most (if not all) the records by the time he's done. My parents swore that Stan was the man. Gibby was my guy, but I don't see how Albert can get much better. 24 homers and it's still June.
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Finally, I'm becoming much more comfortable in the studio and I'm reacting without thinking about what to do. Radio, like most sports (and sex) is about timing and if you think about the shot before you take it (I can't think of a sexual metaphor), it's too late. Had one of the better shows today. It was fun.
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I saw Karen Valentine on TV last night for the first time in about 20 years. When I was younger and just learning about the opposite sex, she was one person I had a mad crush on. I was going to marry her when I was twelve. She was going to find me in Ava and I was going to make her incredibly happy. Dana Delany was also on last night, another woman who has aged very well.
************************************************************************************
If you could have a do over in your life, what would yours be? I know what mine would have been. The one that got away would have never gotten away. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful family and have been blessed with great kids, but there's always that one certain someone that you never get over. Ever. And in one of the twists of fate that Bob Dylan wrote about is that she lives in Springfield with her husband and four kids. Of all of the places in this country, we all ended up here. While the memory is bittersweet, God has been good to her and that's all I have ever prayed about. She has a great life. So do I.
Cue Dan Fogeleberg:

Every morning you wake up alone
And you shake up your soul
But nothing stirs
So you take the love of whoever you please
But you can't find no reason for giving yours.

'Cause, once upon a time
You held a love so strong and fine
That all the others simply don't compare
She's always on your mind, but once upon a time
You had her there.

Drive into town 'most every night
On the chance that there might be someone waiting for you
You tell yourself you'll give it your best
Maybe settle for less but you never do.

'Cause, once upon a time
You held a love so strong and fine
That all the others simply don't compare
She's always on your mind
But once upon a time you had her there.

The Glass Houses Line Comes Into Play Here...

Barack Obama Jib Jab Video

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Very Interesting

You must admit...it's a nice job.

JUNE 12--A North Carolina man is facing criminal charges for creating an amusing piece of public art from construction barrels. Joseph Carnevale, 21, was nabbed Wednesday after a Raleigh Police Department investigation determined that he was responsible for the work (seen below) constructed May 31 on a roadway adjacent to North Carolina State University. Carnevale, pictured in the mug shot at right, was charged with misdemeanor larceny for allegedly building his orange monster from materials pilfered from a construction site. According to an arrest warrant, Carnevale "destroyed three road blocking barrels by cutting and screwing them together to form a statue." Police estimated that Carnevale's artwork caused $360 in damages to Hamlett Associates, the North Carolina construction company that owned the barrels. Carnevale is scheduled for a July 21 court appearance in Wake County.

from "The Smoking Gun"

The Top 100

It was the spring of 1982. I was the music director at KY102 in Kansas City. Teh Warner Brothers rep told me of this new supergroup that I immediately laughed off. Supergroup? Great. How many times have I heard that? Right around March of 1982, they exploded on the scene.
Asia began with the apparent demise of Yes and Emerson, Lake & Palmer, two of the flagship bands of British progressive rock. After the break-up of King Crimson in 1974, various plans for a super group involving bassist John Wetton had been mooted, including the abortive British Bulldog project with Bill Bruford and Rick Wakeman in 1976. In 1977, Bruford and Wetton were reunited in UK, along with guitarist Allan Holdsworth and keyboardist/violinist Eddie Jobson. Their eponymous debut was released in 1978. By 1980, after UK's demise, a new super group project was suggested involving Wetton, Wakeman, drummer Carl Palmer and (then little known) guitarist Trevor Rabin, but Wakeman walked out of the project shortly before they were due to sign to Geffen and before they had ever played together. Rabin, in a filmed interview from 1984 and included in the recently released and updated DVD 9012Live, said that his involvement with this project never went anywhere because "there was no chemistry" among the participants.
In early 1981, Wetton and Yes guitarist Steve Howe were brought together by A&R man John Kalodner and Geffen Records to start working and writing. They were eventually joined by Carl Palmer, and finally by Howe's recent Yes cohort, keyboardist Geoff Downes. The band's early offerings, under the auspices of Geffen record label head David Geffen and Kalodner, were considered disappointing by music critics and fans of traditional progressive rock, who found the music closer to radio-friendly AOR pop-rock. However, Asia clicked with fans of arena acts such as Journey, Boston, and Styx. Rolling Stone gave Asia an indifferent review, while still acknowledging the band's musicianship was a cut above the usual AOR expectations.
It was this progressive rock fan's dream. "Heat of the Moment" which sounds very dated today (because of the reference to the year 1982 in the lyrics)hit the airwaves first, then "Only Time Will Tell", and "Soul Survivor". My favorites on the disc include "Time Again", "Wildest Dreams" and "Here Comes the Feeling". This was the largest selling album of 1982 with over 4 million copies sold. I saw these guys at the Starlight Theater in the summer and it was incredibly hot. This goes down in my top 100 of all time. Sadly, they never got close to this record in the future.
They have broken up and reunited more time than anyone can count.

Cool links

Be an optimist, live longer.
Click here

Nine natural ways to beat depression
Click here

The 101 great things about summer.
Click here

Summer Hangover Kit
click here

Great Basketball Shots

Very cool. I wonder how long it took them to shoot this?

Video of the Day May 26 2009

It'a a dance off between USF and UConn during a rain delay at the College Baseball Tournament.



"Transforminators"

HAPPY aNNIVERSARY mAD mAGAZINE

This guy made a tribute to Alfred E. Nuemann out of old AOL discs.

Pretty weird if you ask me.

Happy 500th issue, Mad Magazine.

Save The Marx Brothers Home

This is the video of the Marx Brothers Boyhood Home Preservation Movement

Picture of the Day

Prefab green homes get affordable
One of the largest manufacturers of mobile homes plans to enter the market of environmentally friendly, prefab homes with a model that is seriously affordable.By Popular Mechanics





An exterior view of the innovative, prefab Clayton i-house.

It looks like a house you'd order from Ikea. It sounds like a house designed by Apple. The I-House just might be the future — well, one future, anyway — of the housing market.

Clayton Homes, based in Maryville, Tenn., is one of America's largest manufacturers of mobile homes and prefabricated housing. So when President Kevin Clayton wanted to go green, he gave his architects a free hand, instructing them to incorporate as many green products as possible and to produce a home that was super energy-efficient — the only constraint was that it had to be something that could be built in existing facilities.

The result was the Clayton I-House (view Clayton’s online tour of it here), an innovative prefab home that can be powered for a dollar a day, thanks to Low-E windows, solar augmentation, high-efficiency appliances and superior insulation. The solar panels on the roof don't supply all the home's needs, but they do cut electricity consumption in half. There's also a tankless water heater and a cistern that collects rainwater from the roof for use in gardening, car washing or other outdoor uses. Floors are made of fast-growing bamboo, and paint and insulation are low- or zero-emission.

The basic I-House is 992 square feet, though the design's blend of indoor and outdoor space makes it seem bigger. Though final prices haven't been set, Clayton hopes to deliver it for about $100,000. But the "core" unit can be expanded by adding additional rooms in different configurations to suit the buyer's needs and the character of the lot — placing rooms above one another to accommodate, for example, a hillside. Clayton Vice President Chris Nicely says the goal is to allow as much customization — both in configuration and interiors — as possible. It can be set on a traditional foundation, for example, or it can sit on piers driven into the ground.

As innovative as the energy and environmental features are, though, it's the design that draws attention. As Popular Mechanics toured a display model near the Knoxville airport, people were stopping in to look it over. "I'm not a mobile-home kind of guy," one man said, "but I could see living in this." That's the idea.

The Clayton folks see the typical customer for the I-House as being younger and more affluent than traditional mobile-home buyers. The interior and exterior are attractive, looking like something from a high-end home show, not the kind of disposable mobile home you'd see coming from the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

The house more closely resembles a product that you might buy from Ikea. In fact, it is a house you might buy from Ikea: Kevin Clayton is a fan of the Scandinavian furniture company, and Clayton Homes is exploring a partnership with Ikea that would feature display models at Ikea stores and even allow people to design and order their own I-Houses from the Ikea Web site. (Clayton's own Web site will allow this in a few months, via a build-your-own I-House feature. They'll even let you visit the factory while it's built.)

So where does the I-House fit in to the troubled times of the current housing market? Well, obviously, it's not for everyone; even with several expansion modules added, large families will probably find it a bit small. But with big, expensive houses looking less attractive as investments — since their values are actually plummeting in many markets — and with energy costs virtually certain to climb in coming years, the market for a small but stylish house that has lots of high-end amenities with a low energy bill is likely to be pretty big. And if you're like a lot of Americans, you spend most of your time in a couple of rooms anyway, regardless of how many rooms your house has.

But the I-House's impact is likely to go beyond this particular home. What was learned in the process of designing and building this energy-efficient home has fed back into the rest of Clayton Homes' product line, Nicely says. An ordinary mobile home that gets much lower energy bills may not be as exciting as the I-House, but multiplied by millions, it's likely to have an impact. And the strong interest in the I-House's look and "green" character is also likely to encourage other builders including the makers of traditional site-built homes — to add green features as well.