Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

Why Obama is Winning

This is something I noticed in Iowa that caught my ear. Ms. Huffington can explain what I saw and heard beter than I can...


From the blog of Arianna Huffington...

"Hillary Clinton's campaign model," David Axelrod, Obama's chief strategist told me this morning in Chicago, "is a very tired Washington model: 'I'll do these things for you.' Barack's model is 'Let's do these things together.' This has been the premise of Barack's politics all his life, going back to his days as a community organizer. He has really lived and breathed it, which is why it comes across so authentically."Of course, the time also has to be right for the man and the moment to come together. And, after all the country has been through over the last seven years, the times are definitely right for the message that the only way to get real change is to activate the American people to demand it." Based on the way the '08 campaign has played out, Democratic voters are showing signs of deep fox fatigue -- sick and tired of foxy triangulating, foxy slicing-and-dicing of the message, and foxy shifts in presentation. Voters want real change -- not daily changes in approach and messaging. "Small is the new big," (Mark Penn wrote). "Many of the biggest movements in America today are small."Except when they are very big, and getting bigger by the day. And you've missed them.

The Top 100 Continues

You know the drill, we are counting down the top 100 from back to front, I started with ZZ Top's Tres Hombres. Our last stop was Gino Vanelli's "Brother to Brother". So, up the alphabet we go, passing...

These albums cancelled each other out. If there was a "bubbling under the top 100", these would be about 101, 109, 112. My favorite was "Fair Warning", but it was only 32 minutes long. "Diver Down" would be next. "Little Guitars" is THE best VH song ever (with "Mean Streets") a close second. Third would be "Dreams". 5150 was a 180 turn for VH and it was the soundtrack to the summer of 1986. Great records all, close but no cigar.

So, away we go, past Uriah Heep; "Demons and Wizards" is another honorable mention, past "Lights Out","Force It and "Phenomenon" by UFO, landing on.....

Achtung Baby- U2

I was programing a station in Lincoln, Nebraska when this came out. I got a promotional copy from the record guy and for the next thirty days, I didn't listen to anything else. I immediately added about 6 songs to our playlist. Not long after that, my consultant's head exploded. Every song on here is an absolute treat. "One" is one here, so is "Zoo Stations" and "Even Better Than The Real Thing". To show you what I think of this CD, I downloaded every song from it to my Ipod. Very few releases meet that test. This one would probably check in at about number 68 or so.

RIP Buddy Miles

Buddy Miles died yesterday at the age of 60. He was a child prodigy, starting his career as the drummer for his father's group. In 1967, he formed The Electric Flag with Mike Bloomfield and left after the second album. He was also Jimi Hendrix's drummer in Band of Gypsies and gave my band it's opening number. Whenever we played "Them Changes" it always kicked the show off right. His recording with Carlos Santana remains a classic jazz/funk album. I always thought his version of "Down By The River" was the absolute best. Kids may know him as the voice of The California Raisins. He probably made more from that gig than he did anywhere else. I learned a lot about drumming with passion and emotion from Buddy. Details of the cause of death were not disclosed.

Can't Sleep

Congrats to a fine basketball team in Vanderbilt. There is a party at Dr. Sardonicus' crib. BYOB. Tennessee has been involved with two of the most intense performances in the last three days that I have ever seen. How cool that basketball has finally arrived in Tennessee. Memphis, Vandy and UT should all be in the top ten next week. That reminds me of when I lived in KC (1980 I think ) that Mizzou was ranked number one and KU was second. If I am not mistaken, I think they were both unbeaten. I was in the Vanderbilt gym last year when they lost to Furman. That's right Furman. Now, they beat the number one team in the country. Nice work, great game, high drama.

I was talking to our sports guy Kevin Wheeler about the lack of free throw shooting in college basket ball. He said that the percentages haven't changed in the past forty years. We notice it now because we see more games. I can remember when I was a kid how thrilled I was to see UCLA play Houston featuring Elvin Hayes locking up with Lew Alcindor from the Houstin Astrodome.

There might have been one more game on that week, maybe in Saturday. but where I came from, I got a lot of Colorado basketball and I'm not sure why, living in southern Missouri. The coach had the wierdest name: Sox Walseth.

Longtime head basketball coach at the University of Colorado, who during his tenure as men's coach from 1956 to 1976, won 261 games, the most in school history, who came out of retirement in 1980 to coach the women's team until 1983 (he is believed to be the only person ever to coach the men's and women's basketball teams at the same NCAA school) , and for whom the basketball floor at the university's Coors Events/Conference Center is named, died Jan. 28 of cancer at his home in Boulder, Colorado at the age of 77. (uh...261 wins divided by 20 means he won roughly 13 games a year...not good)

When I get some time, I'll look up his claim. Although, I am sure he knows way more about this than I do.

I think tonight was game... set... match for Obama. I think this may be our next president.

I fear for his safety.

Jimmy's Revenge

Most of the time, I can take or leave Jimmy Kimmel, but this is a very funny come back to the previous Sarah Silverman video.

Another One Hit Wonder

I can't find anything on these guys, if you know, send it to me. I remember that I played this song on KY 102 in the spring of 1979. They had a kindof Queenish sound. Is that a word? No video (or anything else) available from these guys, but I have certainly heard worse stuff. Catchy song, actually. It was one of those that I never minded to play. Cool spring song. I think we played it for three weeks or something.

Sunday Morning

I don't work on Sunday. It's not a totally religious thing but, having to put my time in six days a week, this is the day for taking a bath (with my jukebox on the website playing), not answering my phone and only checking my email once. It's just nice to take care of the mental state one day a week. If I have to, sure I'll work but my week is so jammed (I am thankful to be working), that I must have some down time. Oh let's hold a pity party for me, huh?

Doing an airshift once a week is a bitch. I can't get into much of a rhythm, but I do the best I can. Last night's show was subpar, just couldn't get the whole thing to flow. That follows last week's show which I thought was one of the better ones. Being on air is something that needs to be done every day, but I ain't complainin' just trying to understand how the weekend guys do it. It's hard to get better doing ANYTHING once a week. Side note...if an engineer saw you with a Coke that close to the control board, he would shove it somewhere that the sun doesn't shine. (I ain't talking about your closet either.)
As I was walking from my car to the station the other day (about three blocks) I smelled something so uniquely wonderful that it just about knocked me over (and something different than the usual urine smell). I can only describe it as "burgers and fries". There is a certain smell of cooking burgers and fries that takes me back to working for my mom at the diner in downtown Moline. Isn't it wierd how smelling something can just ship you immediately back in time? I swear I heard "Everybody Plays The Fool" in the distance.
We are reaching a point in the college basketball season that I just love. The big boys are getting knocked off left and right and we're getting down to crunch time. I have two favorite teams this year, one being Drake. Who? The school from Des Moines hasn't really had much exposure, but this is an excellent team (they beat another excellent team in Butler at Butler). They are coached by Tom Davis' son, who used to coach at Iowa and seem to play very hard all of the time. I am also rooting for Tennessee and Vanderbilt. I love Tennessee's coach and they are about to be number one for the first time in school history. Bruce Pearl looks like someone you can sit and have a cold one with. John Calipari on the other hand, looks like he wouldn't give you the time of day. Vanderbilt just because I drove by the school everyday on my way to work in Nashville.

One year ago, I was in Nashville and had just about realized that the station I was working at had no clue what to do to win. It was about this time that I was exploring how to get out, through the grace of God, I found it. Now, I am so busy at KMOX I can't go to lunch (not a complaint). Speaking of Nashville, my oldest daughter may have a chance to move there if things work out. It would be great from them to go, I am not sure what future possibilities the Quad Cities may have to offer.

Sometimes, I let my nostalgia get the best of me, I seem to look back with rose colored glasses. Oh, our lives were so so much better back then, huh? I was watching "CBS Sunday Morning" and they had an interview with Jessica Lange who grew up in the middle of nowhere in Minnesota. She talked about how isolated, lonely and alone she felt growing up so far out of reach. That got me thinking about my 14th year on the planet. Absolute brutality. I had acne so bad that sometimes, the pimples would get raw and explode on my pock marked face. I had just received my first pair of glasses, and was starting to notice girls who at that time thought I was "gross". All I had was basketball and the songs on the radio. My brother was in VietNam, my father wasn't there, my mother (God love her) was drunk and my sister was too young. I did the best I could and just hung on for dear life. I remember those times as me desparately trying to escape, and be a part of all the things I heard that were happening all over the country. Unfortunately, all I could do was read about it. Thank God I had these songs which helped the pain of being 14.

"Whole Lotta Love","Eli's Coming","No Time","Rainy Night In Georgia","Thank You(Falettin Me Be Mice Elf)","Leaving On A Jet Plane","Shilo","Bridge Over Troubled Waters","Travellin Band","Spirit In The Sky","Celebrate","Question","Let It Be", "Closer To Home" "Into The Mystic","Ohio", "25 or 6to4","Make It With You"etc etc. Thanks to all of those composers who kept me from killing myself.

This is So Wrong On So Many Levels

The Sponge Bob Square Pants Rectal Thermometer

The Rock Awards 1982

KY

staff.

1982

Now THAT'S love

To have and to hold ... for 83 years and counting
A White Bear Lake couple that marked their 83rd wedding anniversary Sunday may be headed for the Guinness Book of Records.
Eight decades after heading down the aisle, a White Bear Lake couple may be headed for the Guinness Book of Records.
Clarence, 101, and Mayme Vail, 99, celebrated their 83rd anniversary Sunday, possibly making them the longest married couple alive in the United States.
Married in 1925, they almost didn't make it to their 25th anniversary. When Clarence became critically ill with tuberculosis in 1948, Mayme made a promise to God that if her husband survived, she would attend mass every day -- a promise she kept until last year when health issues forced them to move into an assisted-living center.
"She's got good genes; she used to walk to mass every day," said her daughter, Arlene Leyden of St. Paul, who filled out the 17 pages of paperwork required by the Guinness record-keepers.
There was no shortage of people to attend the Vails' anniversary party. Their family includes six children, 39 grandchildren, 101 great-grandchildren and 40 great-great grandchildren. Mayme Vail's "kid" sister was there, too. She's only 98.

daytona 500

I'm not a NASCAR guy. Have always been around people who raced and at one time, owned an old Dodge Polaris that we took to the track and sacrificed. Needless to say, my high school years were filled with Saturday nights at Quad City Raceway right down the street from where I used to live. Hanging out in the pits and rooting against the Antons (inside joke, huh sis) ? Witnessing (or participating in) a bit of fisticuffs was the highlight, as the cheap beer and cheaper insults flowed freely. On Saturday night, anyone within a two mile distance knew when each race had started. I could hear them when I worked at the Drive In, so hearing the dialogue from the movie and the dull roar of the engines made for a memorable mix.

That being said, I have followed NASCAR half assed throughout the years. Some of my favorite drivers have long since gone and I think this some of the current crop of drivers risk turning NASCAR into professional wrestling. Public feuding with rivalries, posing and pushing in public is getting to be bit much. They should settle outside of the cameras like they used to. I watched the Daytona 500 today and while I was very riveted by the race and the plotlines, I think some of these drivers are absolute whores. I have never seen a sport where just about every driver was shilling something all race long. Every commercial break had at least three drivers pitching something. I, as a guy who gets a check due to advertising, can understand the bottom line but Fox interrupted the race approximately every 11 minutes. For the entire broadcast, at no time was the screen free of advertising. In the upper right hand corner, all day, someone bought that space. It would have really been disappointing had not the race been incredible. Down the stretch they come and the winner is...some guy who has never won it before....YEAH!

An outsiders observations...Junior is never going to be even in the same breath as his dad. I am a bit confused about all of the drivers after the race saying they didn't get any help. Help doing what? Stand on it, son. It used to be where the fastest guy won, now it's the guy who makes the best use of his team mates. I don't get that. Great race though.

February 17th 2008

I swear it seems like only yesterday I was 17. I remember hearing my mother say that, now here I am....

"You are never to old to be younger."- Mae West

Another One Hit Wonder

In 1980, KY102 had a search for great local talent to put on our "Homegrown" LP. It was a showcase of great local groups. My favorite off the album was this song done by the guys from Wichita, The Clocks. This is just a video with random pictures on it, but there is the song, in it's entirety. The Clocks opened for Dave Edmunds at the Uptown Theatre, gave a great show but disappeared not long after that. Enjoy the tune, it's only 2:42 of some of the best power pop of 1980.

Yoko

Earlier this week, there were reports that said John Lennon's widow, Yoko Ono, was said to be planning legal action against with a young singer-songwriter named Lennon Murphy, who sought to trademark the name of her band, "Lennon."
Ms. Ono tells says today that the reports (from Fox, NME, TMZ, and others) she was suing Ms. Murphy are untrue -- she just didn't want Murphy to seek an exclusive trademark on "Lennon."
Yoko Ono says

"A musician named Lennon Murphy is claiming that Yoko Ono has sued her and that Yoko is seeking to stop Lennon Murphy from performing under her name, Lennon Murphy. Both of these claims are untrue.
Several years ago, Lennon Murphy sought Yoko's permission to do her performances under her name, Lennon Murphy. Yoko, of course, did not object to her request. Subsequently, without Yoko's knowledge, Lennon Murphy filed an application in the United States trademark Office requesting the exclusive right to utilize the name "Lennon" for musical performances. Yoko's attorneys asked Lennon Murphy's attorneys and manager to withdraw her registration of exclusivity to the name LENNON for the trademark. Yoko also offered to cover all costs Lennon Murphy had incurred in filing for the trademark. But Lennon Murphy went ahead to register.
Yoko did not sue Lennon Murphy, but sought to stop her from getting the exclusive right to the name Lennon for performance purposes. For that, Yoko's attorneys, simply notified the Trademark office that Yoko did not believe it was fair that Ms. Murphy be granted the exclusive right to the "Lennon" trademark in relation to musical and entertainment services. As you can see, this is a very important issue for Yoko and the Lennon family.
Yoko says: "I am really hurt if people thought that I told a young artist to not use her own name in her performances and had sought to sue her. I did no such thing. I hope this allegation will be cleared."

I interviewed her once in 1986 (probably my worst interview ever), and I really liked her. I will post pictures soon, but I think she has class. As she once told me "John fell out of love being a Beatle and he fell in love with me, what's so hard to believe?" I believe.

Another Bummer

GREG L. JOKERST, 54, died TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12th. Best known as JAY GREGORY to his listening audience, GREG had been a radio disc jockey for WJVM/STERLING, WYFE and WROK/ROCKFORD and KSTT/DAVENPORT. A memorial has been established to MAKE-A-WISH FOUNDATION. Condolences may be sent at www.mcdonaldfuneralhomes.com on the Internet.

Jay's passion, his emotion and love of this business sucked me right in. I was a punk kid when Jay helmed afternoons at KSTT. When he spoke to me, he would always use his index and middle finger together and wag them at me, always trying to emphasize a point. He drove in everyday from Sterling to do the show. That was cool that he did radio in the "big city" and still lived in a small town. Jay was a prince and one of those people in your life that you have lost touch with, but were hoping to someday say "thanks". He treated me with respect and dignity and told me I would go far. So, thanks, Jay. I learned a lot from you, more than you know. Be at peace. Chuck Hamilton, Rich Eriksen and now Jay Gregory. All bigger than life radio announcers who helped me along with my career and now all done too soon, all before 60.
Heavy sigh.

His official obit:
STERLING - Greg L. Jokerst, 54 of Sterling died Tuesday February 12, 2008. Greg was born on November 15, 1953 in Sterling the son of Warren and Virginia (Easley) Jokerst. He was a graduate of Sterling High School and attended Sauk Valley College from 1973-1974, during which he played for the Redmen tennis team. In 1974, he along with his doubles partner, Gary Helms, won the Illinois State Junior College Championship and proceeded to the quarterfinals of the National Junior College Championship, before finally being eliminated. Greg was recently honored by induction into the Sterling High School Hall of Fame. Greg (best known as Jay Gregory to his listening audience) had been a radio disc jockey. He later worked in marketing for Wahl Clipper Corporation, Sterling. Greg loved the outdoors and talking with people. He was an avid NASCAR racing fan and he will sorely missed. Surviving are his mother, Virginia Jokerst and his brother Dennis (Margie) Jokerst all of Sterling; his niece Staci Hayes of DePere, WI; and his nephew Ryan Jokerst of Chicago. He was preceded in death by his father, Warren Jokerst. A visitation will be held on Friday February 15, 2008 from 5-7 PM at the McDonald-Allen-Grennan Funeral Home, 505 1st Avenue - Sterling. Memorials in his memory to the Make-A-Wish Foundation would be appreciated.

I'm In. Sign Me Up.

Nothingness

I saw Jesus Christ Superstar last weekend. With Ted Nelly as Jesus as Corey Glover (of Living Colour) as Judas. It may have been one of the best live touring acts I have ever seen. I knew everyword and it was very well done.
I got to thinking about Corey tonight on my way home. A Living Colour song has been in my head for a week now, it goes like this...

Well like a descendant,
I drifted far, far and wide
Isolation, separation, no where to hide
Maybe there's somewhere I can go
Where there's sunshine and the wind won't blow
Nothingness
All I have to feel is my lonliness
Nothing in the attic 'cept an empty chest
And nothing lasts forever

Although there are many,
I look for no one, no one but me
I search for things that are taking me high and far out of reach
But this is the place I call my home
I live with the lies and the fear all alone
Nothingness
All I have to feel is my lonliness
Nothing in the attic 'cept an empty chest
And nothing lasts forever

Nothingness
All I have to feel is my lonliness
Nothing in the attic 'cept an empty chest
And nothing lasts forever
Nothingness.....

A Tough Week

For all of us in Kirkwood, it has been a brutal, grueling week. we laid to rest the last of the six today and now begins the chore of healing. Apparently we have a way to go, I hope we get there, soon. Now comes word of five more killed by another gun toting madman.When I was a junior in high school, my first "road trip" was to Northern Illinois University in DeKalb. I went on behalf of my high school newspaper. We won three of four awards and I won one for my writing about (surprize) music. I remember going there and driving home with my collection of tunes. The open road with my favorite music. In was in the spring, April if I can recollect. I can recall actually rolling the window down with out getting in trouble from my dad. Freedom. I was proud of the fact that I got pretty close to Chicago, accepted the awards and drove home; by myself and I didn't get lost. I remember being very impressed with college life even more so after I found they had a bowling alley in the student center. Five sets of parents who sent their kids there will never be the same. Another set will wonder how their son could do something like this. How is this happening? Is it the violent video game culture coming home to roost? Is it the easy access to guns? I know that my emotions are raw. How do we stop this? Can we?

Aretha 1, Beyonce 0

Would you make this woman mad? I wouldn't. Apparently something that Beyonce said the other night at the Grammys did not play well with Ms. Franklin. When stepping to the podium, Beyonce said something about the many women who have come before her. Like Aretha Franklin, Donna Summer, and Diana Ross (among others). Beyonce went on to say that the real queen was Tina Turner. According to witnesses, you could Aretha's arteries snap out loud. Backstage, Aretha was reported to have said she didn't know whose toes she stepped on but if she heard Beyonce talk like that again she would stick her between two slices of bread, slather her up with ketchup and eat her, too.

What CCR was REALLY trying to say..

How about something completely different?
The sun is out today.

Here is a video on one of John Fogerty's quirks....unintelligable lyrics.

For My Radio Friends

Found this on the net...

By Jerry Del Colliano

I’ve previously written about a Temple University college professor of mine – the legendary Lew Klein (ABC in Philly, American Bandstand) – who told my freshman class in communications that if you are not fired from your jobs several times, then you’re not in broadcasting. Professor Klein would be proud of me – and my fellow classmates who went on to careers in broadcasting. We didn’t let him down. We’ve all got stories. That’s why I love the people in our industry. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed working with such a resilient lot in a system that has always been rigged against us. It’s always been that good. Now, it’s that bad. Before consolidation if you were fired by a station, there were always many other places to work in radio -- plenty of stations owned by other companies – across the street. Hell, you could fulfill Professor Klein’s prediction of getting fired several times in just one city. Today, that’s not possible. If one consolidator discards you, you’ve only got a few other choices in the same city or region. Blacklisted? Did I say that? You’re screwed. So if you’re fired from a group that owns 300 stations, lots of luck even if you're willing to move your family 2,000 miles away to work for them elsewhere at your own expense. I've quit and I've been fired. Quitting was more fun. But without a lot of other options for employment we would have had -- well, what we have today -- slavery. I had the dubious honor of walking out on that radio wild man John Tenaglia when he wouldn’t give me a $25 a week raise. It was wrong. I shouldn’t have done it. I know that now. I was just a kid. I'm sorry. My jocks also walked. I did not ask them to – great people like Bill Figenshu and Mike Anderson. They came to their senses and returned to Johnny T for a while anyway. Actually, looking back -- I’m glad I quit. I got a better job across the street. I should have been blackballed for that stunt. Maybe I was, but it didn't matter. Options -- that's what radio people always had -- lots of options. Today, though, forget it. You’re persona non grata for a lot less. Like, say, doing your job every day at a low pay with constant budget cuts. Having seen an unemployment line in Camden, New Jersey, I can easily identify with the inequity that today’s radio people face at the hands of proven incompetent "leadership". I know a lot of folks who have lost their jobs have health care issues, educational responsibilities for their children, retirement to hope for some day and just plain pride.
But there are some benefits to being fired by radio consolidators that will become evident. Among them:
1. The radio industry is dying by every measure. But the Internet and the mobile space is a potential employer that needs talented marketing people, managers, talent and content providers. It's a great place for entrepreneurs. Internet streaming is stunted by the lack of a fair royalty agreement so it may not look like the future to some, but it is.
2. Podcasting is going to be big. Disagree if you like, but the next generation doesn’t need only 24/7 broadcasting. They want programs they can control – stop, start, rewind and listen to in a time-delayed fashion. Broadcasting will be so – 70’s. Those of us who are moving on will be preparing and marketing content that the next generation can load onto a mobile device and use wherever -- whenever.
3. Centralized programming is on the way out. Mashups are in. The next generation wants a say in what they consume and then, if possible, a way to add to it. Look at the popularity of YouTube. Remember a piece I wrote recently about how cell phone users like to shoot photos on their phones and pass them along to friends to add music, edit or otherwise revise. Radio will resist the mashup concept because radio owners think they control the programming. They used to. Not anymore.
4. If you’ve been fired, stop trying to stay in the business. There is no future. Even the good guys – the companies that are not necessarily public and still very decent – can’t turn this baby around. Even they are cutting back – perhaps more humanely but nonetheless we must never forget we are playing in the house consolidation built.
5. An industry dependent on morning shows for the majority of its revenue is suicidal to cutback talent and resources as they are now doing.

Cutback on corporate aircraft not morning air staff. One makes you money. One spends your money. Know the difference. I have come to appreciate that out of bad comes good. For me, it has been very good and none of it would have been possible without the radio manager who got so drunk each night he called to tell me how lousy my act was only to compliment me the next day. Or the group exec who likes to kick desks over while you’re sitting at them. The disadvantage of being a consolidator is that they are going down with the ship. The advantage of being the talented people they are firing is that for you there is life after radio and today it is more exciting than ever. Welcome to the “new” radio – Internet, podcasting, mobile content, social networking, terrestrial streams, satellite radio and the online music industry. This month's budget victims will soon discover the advantages of disadvantages. Their employers -- the consolidators -- won't be able to say the same thing.

Tuesday after Thursday

Mike Lynch and Officer Ballman were laid to rest today. I don't think I have ever seen St. Peter church looking as nice as it did today. Maybe during advent, that time is always special. It was as full as I have ever seen it. Officer Ballman's graveside service was in Kirkwood City park. It was raining ice. Again. Mike Lynch's daughter and my daughter were friends. It's always hard to see a young person lose their father. I know how tough it can be. There's a stranger in my town, his name is darkness and he needs to go away.

The yard signs are everywhere:

"Kirkwood Stands Together, Kirkwood Grieves Together, Kirkwood Heals Together"

I hope its soon.

Me, I am going to the Fox to see "Avenue Q". Profane puppets sound good right about now.

An Omen or photoshop?

Monday After Thursday

There is truly something in the air here. I went to Ken Yost's service and the Post Office this afternoon and something is hanging over my town, we all try to think we know what it is. It might have been the day which started dreary and got worse. I know the sharpness in our step has temporarily disappeared. I saw people at the post office, I knew what they were thinking, they knew what I was thinking but can't bare to say anything to each other. And it rained ice. There were over a thousand at his service today. The streets were blocked off for blocks all around. There will be thousands more this week still wondering what the hell happened? Ken Yost today, Micheal Lynch tomorrow in my church and on and on and on. One of our friends was seated between the two who were killed. His boy told of his dad coming home that night, covered in blood. I don't think he's stopped shaking yet. I'm not sure I have. I don't think any of us has.

What A Week...

Tough week. Emotions are pretty raw. I had to resign from a local internet chat board due to the fact that I was about to say things in public that I would regret. That's not like me. People seem to have a hard believing that I could actually grieve for Cookie Thornton and the people he slaughtered at the same time. God loves everyone. At one time, he was a decent guy, that's the guy and his family that I grieve for. Not the guy who killed my friends. I have about four funerals to attend this week. I have decided to take tonight off, lock myself in my office, listen to some old favorites (Genesis' Wind and Wuthering happens to be on now...) and get lost in a game of Sim City 3000. I think I'd like to go back to 1976 (the year the album was made) just for a while. To be twenty again, sigh... I always wanted to be able to travel back in time, have a chance to live it all over again, only smarter. How would it have changed? Interesting things to ponder but without me, I have a city that needs to be built. I have stuff to do, but for right now, tonight, mindless entertainment might be good.

Saturday After Thursday

For a multi media glimpse of my town last night go here


There is something about this town. I am not sure what it is. In many ways, it's the same suburban town that is attached to any other city in America. 12 miles out of the heart of downtown St. Louis. Could be 12 miles out of the heart of Columbus, Ohio or Detroit. According to legend, Kirkwood and it's twin Webster Groves were the first suburbs in America. I am not sure how people know that but that's what I have heard. I really like it here. People in this city get involved. I belong to a few organizations myself. I play basketball 3 or 4 times a week at the Kirkwood Y gym. Cookie Thornton and his wife were very active in the Y and gave generously with their time and money. I have attended many football and basketball games and tailgate parties when my daughter went to Kirkwood High. I have been to a few city council meetings when a ruling has dealt with something that concerns me. At one of those meetings, I met and chatted with Officer Biggs and disagreed with the mayor and he, respectfully with me. I saw him not long after that and we had a very nice chat. You really can't help but like the guy. At another meeting, I worked with my councilperson Connie Carr whom I had a great conversation with at The Greentree festival in September. My daughter was very popular and had countless friends over countless times, and one of those friends father was one of the victims. I like to shop and eat in Kirkwood, feeling a sense of pride that I spent money in my town. I had an issue with the Public Works department and had Ken Yost deal with me in a professional manner. I saw him not too long ago at a local eatery and we chatted. I am a lector at the Catholic parish that serves the downtown and business district. So, you see, I have met many people and continue to see them on a regular basis. I know that I am not alone in my interaction with the people in this town. There is a one degree of separation in this place. I may not know you but I know someone you know. After living here for almost twenty years, I can tell you just about everyone is as involved in our city as I am. It's what makes this town different than the city attached to Denver, Chicago or Miami. It is like Mayberry, but with the amenities of the big hulking city right next door. We have our Otis, the town drunk. We have our Andy Taylor, Helen Crump, Aunt Bea, etc. After thursday night, we don't have Mayberry anymore. It makes me angry and sad at the same time. We all feel it. It's in the air. I hope the feeling goes away but I am not sure. 6 dead in Kirkwood on a chilly February night. The healing begins, the scars will remain. The memories of really fine, good people will always be with us. God rest their souls. God help the rest of us.

R I P

Charles "Cookie" Thornton. The shooter, member of the Kirkwood-Webster Y

Officer Tom Ballman. Kirkwood Police Department

Officer William "Bill" Biggs. Kirkwood Police Department. Officer Biggs was a good guy.

Councilwoman Connie Carr. My councilwoman. Very nice person.

Kirkwood Public Works Director Kenneth Yost. Extremely decent person.

Councilman Micheal Lynch. His daughter Meredith and my daughter are good friends.

In serious condition Mayor Mike Swoboda. I don't always agree with the mayor but I like him and respect him.

There is a candlelight vigil tonight at seven. i'll be there

I Live in Kirkwood MO

It's a town of about 27,000 that lies about 12 miles southwest of St. Louis. It really is a small town tucked inside a big city. Everyone knows everyone here. I know everyone here. I have refused to leave this town/city permanently for a reason. It is what America used to be.

I can't believe it. I won't. My heart is broken. I know those people. All of them.

Two policemen, three city council members and maybe the mayor.

5 dead in Kirkwood.

Please say it isn't so.

What's happening to us?

Cool fishtank

It certainly isn't like any aquarium I've owned.
Here's the link for an upclose shot