My 50th Christmas

Fifty Christmasses. I swear I can remember all of them. When I was a very young man, my mother had a tradition of making anise candy. Of course both the red anise candy and green anise candy would be represented. Anise candy drives the rest of my family nuts but I cannot smell that scent without being magically transported back in time...like my 13th Christmas, when we made 127 pounds of anise candy and it snowed about 13 inches the day before Christmas eve. School was letting out early anyway and we got a very special treat. It snowed and snowed and snowed. Being in a rural area, this was always a treat for me because we would get very innovative in our wintertime amusement. Like taking cardboard that we had saved up over the summer and using it (wax side down)as a handy dandy sled. You could end up across the road when conditions were right. It would be so quiet when it showed in the country. The silence would be deafening. My brother was in Vietnam and he was supposed to be coming home with his new son. This was in Ava, when we lived 4.34 miles from nowhere. The snow was piling up and I was sure the news was bad. He had to fly into Springfield and then by the Grace of God get 60 miles away in a driving snowstorm. My grandfather (God rest his profane soul) went to get him in a Chevy truck of dubious reliability. I could only imagine...my 21 year old brother (just home from Vietnam and then this happens), his wife and son in the front seat of a basically one seat truck with my tobacco chewing grandfather cussin and spittin and bitchin all the time.
The night grew late and no sign. Finally right before it became Christmas day, the back door flew open and in walked my brother carrying his fresh, shiny new boy. Followed closely behind by my grandfather and by brothers wife. For some reason I gathered by the looks on the faces of the people who had just walked in the door, that it had been one long trip. My mother cried, I don't think my Dad did. He waited two weeks later when my brother had to fly back to Southeast Asia. That was the first time of only two times that I saw my Dad shed a tear.

...or like my 12th Christmas. We made 56 pounds of anise candy. The Apollo Ten crew was flying around the moon and sending back pictures that were unbelievable. The only problem was that we were 60 miles from the nearest TV tower. Thank goodness we were on a hill, but the reception was tolerable at best. I was a huge follower of the space program back then, from Mercury to Gemini to Apollo. I even did my science project in fifth grade by making a very cool, realistic model of the solar system. It was an award winner. We got to open one present on Christmas Eve and I happened to open my 4" reel to reel taperecorder. I can remember to this very day how stoked I was to be able to tape stuff off of the television (little did a know I was violating numerous FCC and Federal laws). Especially an event like this. I had a whole collection of junk I taped like Hendrix on Mike Douglas and other crap. Anyway, I digress.. They were reading from the book of Genesis and B.J. Thomas' "Hooked On A Feeling" was all over the AM radio. I got a hockey game for Christamas and my brother joined us from Germany. I would play hockey with my sister as different teams and then I would make standings and stats and post them in my bedroom. What an idiot! That year was the year the I went to a barbershop in Ava and got a haircut. Nothing out of the ordinary there but..the next thing I new, I was bald. Apparently, I had made my way into this establishment right after a Christmas party. Lucky me. My brother was in the Army, and my hair was shorter than his. Both of my parents, my brother and my grandmother and grandfather were alive and that makes it very bittersweet. It was a tough time growing up like that; it was a pretty lonely existence and I remember feeling very isolated and removed. And for a guy that just developed a horrible case of acne after having been blessed with glasses the summer before, I retreated into the comfort of "my room with the radio."

This is a good Christmas. My family is healthy and happy, most of my friends seem to be in good spirit, although I wish employment of some rewarding kind for the radio people out of work. There are some incredibly talented individuals not working and it sucks. I am blessed to be working and being able to be creative.

I am VERY thankful!

Merry Christmas.

Create Your Own Caption

Why I Moved South

Right Place, Right Time

Amazing sight in the South Pacific


August 2006, the yacht 'Maiken' is travelling in the south Pacific when they came across a weird sight...It was sand in the water, and floating ON TOP of the waves...


This is not a beach, it is volcanic stones floating on the water.


The trail left by the yacht.



And then this was spotted... ash and steam rising from the ocean...


And while they were watching..a new island formed


A plume of black ash...and life begins in the middle on the ocean. How cool.

Yep, I Stole This...

...so what else is new?

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply
alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): (1) A person who's both stupid and an asshole;

Guess Which Kid Is In Trouble?

The World I Know...

What a past three weeks. Learning new software, finding a place to live, being comfortable while on the air, figuring out where you are, not being able to exercise much...these are the pratfalls of hitting the ground running right before the holidays. I love the gig, I hate the distance but it all works out. On Wednesday, I got there at 9 am and worked till 11:15 that night. I loved it. Had an awesome time. One hurdle is down, I now have a place. It's a "mother in law" quarters under the house of a woman and her daughter. I think it will be great; if you notice on the map, it's in the McCabe Park area of town. 3.5 miles from work, and definately rideable on a bike. Nice view of the "Nashville Skyline" on the way in. So, hopefully after the first, a routine sets in and it all feels better.

My muchos huevos gracias thanks to my compadre, Mario "Flamboogo" Martinez who has been gracious enough to allow me to crash at his place. I haven't crashed anywhere in years.

Kudos to my friend Brad O who has landed on his feet after being blasted out of Wilks Broadcasting in KC. He went across the street and found a gig. Good for him.

What's up with my friend Jay? You left me hangin', bro. Johnny Horton sings a song for you this holiday season.

My favorite "non traditional" Christmas songs include

"Easier Said Than Done" -Jon Anderson
"2000 Miles" -The Pretenders
"Peace In Our Time" -Eddie Money
"Do They Know It's Christmas" -Band Aid
"Merry Christmas, Baby" -Bruce Springsteen

The Ten Greatest Sports Meltdowns

It's the Saturday before Christmas, I am finished with my shopping and so what do I do? Watchin these videos. It features one of my all time favorite players and a Titan. The Oliver McColl boxing match is unreal.
Enjoy this treat if you like.

What I Am Reading

Just getting started. It's nice to have a good Christmas book. I'll let you know.

30,000 Hits

What the hell is wrong with you people? 30,000 hits in less than a year? Go to the library, walk your dog, do something.
30,000 hits in less than a year?
What can I say?
Glad someone likes reading this crap.

Back in St. Louis for a rest. Will post a ton of junk later.

Every Playboy Playmate Ever

Definately not suitable for work, but we are adults, here, no?
Would it be too perverted of me to say I actually remember some of their names?
Yeesh.

The gallery in it's entirety.

Incredible Video From 1944

Wow, I thought I had seen everything. This is incredible...stick around for the exit.

Rocky's Getting Good Reviews

Rut roh.
Say it isn't so.
Here's another one.
I loved Rocky III, one of my favorites movies because Rocky was believable.
Could it be there's one more hit left in him?

Goodnight and Goodluck

SmoothVox.com has been turned off. It ended with Joyce Cooling's "Coasting". Appropriate in an ironic way. My thoughts and prayers go out to my friend David Myers who is one of the best guys I know. I really liked voice tracking that station. I thought it had a chance. But the question remains. How can you sell advertisers on a station that can be heard all over the world? There were a lot of listeners for the Vox but they were not concentrated in one area. I would love to stream but how would you make it profitable? Any ideas? I'm all ears...
Meanwhile another pro on the beach. That sucks.
Good luck, David.
Thanks for everything, I had a blast!

The Top Ten of 2006

1. "Love"-The Beatles. Did you really think that the Beatles would be number 2 to anybody? New, exciting, refreshing, cool. A Beatles mash up performed by Sir George Martin and his son, Giles. I can't get this out of my CD player. Hearing these new, mashed up versions of Beatles songs (with the permission of everyone) just makes me feel eleven again. Incredible stuff and so nice to have "new" Beatles stuff to listen to.


2. "4AM"-Stevie Williams. Man, where did this guy come from? A bass player from Manchester England who was marketed to the smooth jazz crowd. He may be the best bass player since Jaco Pastorius. And that's saying something. The CD that single handedly got me through one of the shittiest summers on record. And that's saying something.



3. "Modern Times"-Bob Dylan. What can you say? In my house pre-Beatles, it was three guys, basically. Hank, Johnny and Bob. In my house 45 years later,it's Johnny and Bob anyway, only because Hank isn't around to defend himself. This is an incredible piece of music from the best songwriter of my generation. There's no denying that Bob is the man. Pre, during and now 37 years post Beatles...he is the king of them all. You must buy this disc.


4. "American Five"-Johnny Cash. God, I truly miss this guy. I always will. I will NOT consider myself a resident of Nashville till I
a)visit his grave
b)drive by his house (which is now owned by Barry Gibb(good for him).
His last written piece of work and his heart rendering "If You Could Read My Mind" make this the most important piece of work this year by a man who knew he was dying. This is really one of the people I want to meet when I get to Heaven. My friend Mario has two pictures of him with the man in black..and June. Impressive. God, I truly miss this guy.


5. "The Road To Escondido"-Eric Clapton and J.J. Cale. Perfection and long overdue. Wow, how sweet is this? The perfect driving CD (I oughtta know). Real classy tunes.


6. "All Those Roadrunning" Mark Knopfler/Emmylou Harris. If there is a better pairing of artists in the last few years, I haven't heard it. His sweet unpicked guitar and her beautiful rich voice go together about as well as peanut butter and chocolate. There is so much sweet country rock music on this disc that I can't pick a favorite song. Nice, sweet, uncomplicated great music.


7. "Taking The Long Way"-The Dixie Chicks. They're back and they are pissed. The Dixie Chicks sounded like they had something to prove and to me they proved it well. I don't give a rat's ass about politics. (I like Charlie Daniels, too). They can play and they can sing and they do. Awesome harmonies and and incredible talents. They get better and better.


8. "Under The Sun"-Lindsay Buckingham. My favorite member of Fleetwood Mac. He is quirky, funny, and heartbreaking as well. This may be his best album and I have all of his others. He writes from the heart and paints pictures with words like few can. Nice guy, too.


9."Once Again"-John Legend. I have been following his career since "Standing In The Shadows of Motown". He is Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder and James Taylor rolled into a silk smooth delivery. The Al Green of this generation.


10. "Rockford"-Cheap Trick. Summertime fun stuff from one of the best American bands ever. When they are on and clicking (like the show I saw this summer), they can rock the house down. I thought this was one the best Cheap Trick albums ever. It sounds crisp and clean and nice to see that they still have fun live and in the studio.

The Top 10 Most Annoying Christmas Songs Of All Time

What? No "Cheech and Chong"?

Here they are

Week Two

I can't wait til I get a routine down. After being in the hotel for 3 weeks, I go to "Mario's In The Woods". It's getting easier by the day. I know I am supposed to be here for some reason. God and I have always had this weird relationship. We have for some time. I really love his sometimes impeccable sense of timing. And his use of dramatic pauses in his delivery. Sometimes the punch line is not what I expected. Who the hell knew that Emmis would buy the Rock? Damn, I didn't see THAT one coming. I was the punchline. Sometimes I think that my previous generations committed some heinous insult to him and he has decided to have some fun with me. It's all been fun, though. I do believe my life has turned out better than 99% of the people in the world. OK, make it 99.6% Sometimes I stand toe to toe with the man upstairs for some percepted misslight. We're in the ring and I am yelling at him(after considerable damage to me with a series of blows that have made their mark) "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?" "COME ON! HIT ME!!" like some punch drunk fool from a Rocky movie...(or video game..whatever..)

He can humble you like that, I know. Then, he steps back and laughs, because we are friends and I would not, could not do anything without Him and his Son in my corner.



It's not like Nashville's not a cool city. And it's close (fairly). I really do believe I am going to like it here. So far, so good. My prayers begin with ...thank you for what I have.

I hope all who need a job, find a job.

Teddy Was Right

I am an American History buff. I am reading "John Adams" as we speak. I have finished biographies of Washington and Lincoln. I can't wait to get started on Theodore Rex, the biography of probably my favorite president of them all, Theodore Roosevelt. Dynamic, well read, well spoken, a friend of the environment and the little guy. Here is what he said in 1907, it still rings true today

Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907.


"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be NO divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but ONE flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

A Place To Rest

One of the hardest things to find when you move to a new city is a place to call your own. Rents in Nashville are very expensive, even more than I thought. I looked at a real shithole yesterday. It was convenient but somehow I had the feeling an exorcism took place there or something. My friend Mario and his "wife" are going to allow me to rent a room from them until I find the "perfect place". How cool. It's out in Kingston Springs TN (about 23 miles from the station) but now I'll get the hotel off my ass. I just need to find a bed, then all is well. All I need is a place to shit, shower and shave and just a good vibe, I ain't hard to please, ya know. Anything under $525 a month in this town is a shithole, that's for sure. Anywho, his "wife" Nancy is a web designer so maybe I will have a cool new look to the website sometime soon. That would be neat. Off to bed and back to work tomorrow.
Map.

New Song In My Head

This one has replaced Dan Fogelberg...damn Ipod
DAYS ON THE ROAD
WRITER GRAHAM GOBLE
I remember the days on the road tryin' to get somewhere
All the time spent behind the wheel,
I remember the faces of people who did me wrong there
And they were oh so many to know

Country dates and fans who wait for hours
It's strange I don't even remember a name
Patiently they wait and see where will he run to now
And they were oh so many to know

I was born a dream chaser running away from the country that made me
Rock 'n' roll you're a home breaker turnin' my head from the family that loved me.

And I hate it, how I hate leaving you but what more can I do
Than to try and find my way ?
Carry me on to somewhere,
Send me someone who will share it all
Help me to find my peace of mind

I remember the days on the road I almost died there
Each year harder than those before
And I'll remember the faces of friends if I ever go back again,
They were also many to know

I remember the days on the road
I remember the days on the road
I remember the days on the road
I remember the days on the road
Yes I do, yes I do oh
I remember the days on the road
I remember the days on the road
and they were so many to know

Brush With Greatness Part Twelve-Jim Palmer

One of my favorite baseball players Jim "don't hate me becasue I am beautiful" Palmer. This guy in his prime could throw a baseball through the side of a barn. If I remember right, he was a very nice guy also. This was taken roughly fall of 1992 while doing the morning show from the Courtesy Diner in St. Louis. He was a judge of what we called the "Hoosier Lingerie Show" featuring the southside's "lovliest" modeling their underwear on the countertop. Steve Davis, "E", was there, too. Way too many people inside of that place, it was madness. I loved it. He was promoting his new book.

The Top 50 Commercials of The Eighties...

Ah, the eighties, I "remember" it well...didn't spend a whole lot of time watching TV much then..(too many brain cells to kill in other ways), I mean ever since they took M*A*S*H and Barney Miller off.
Someone did and made a list of their favorite commercials.

...And 50 more...

and let's make it an even one hundred. With video, of course

The Top Ten Air Guitar Solos?

I have been known to play a bit. Won a regional contest when I was a DJ in Denver back in 1982. (it was to "Eruption", one of the songs featured here). In fact, just this week I asked on the air if it was OK for a man my age to be playing the air guitar in the studio? My answer was...only if you play it as well as I do.

Here's a video list of someone's air guitar top ten. I can't argue with any of these songs, although I would add "Aqualung" to the list...but that is a topic for a future post.

Haven't Posted In A While

Between trying to get a handle on imaging, finding a place to live and getting my on air chops back, it has been difficult to post much (I don't have internet capabilities in the hotel I am staying). I have been reacquainted with a guy I went to radio school with. My God, that was 31 years ago. He has lived in Nashville for a long time and has invited me to stay with him and his "wife" until I find a place. How nice, that will certainly help. It is always nice to reaquaint yourself with old friends and lovers and so far, (after a very rough beginning)things have been going well. We have repositioned the station and have changed the morning show. I have been dropped into a station in transition but so far, I am weathering the storm. I need to hang on till after the holidays then the sailing will be smoother (I hope). Miss the family and can't wait till I see them again. I need to check out Nashville more, but so far, I have been too busy. I really do like the imaging part of the job description, it gives me a chance to be creative. Bob Seger tonight, so a report after that.

Major Bloodlettings Everywhere

Wilks Broadcasting in Kansas City (who bought the CBS stations) let 19 people go this week. Included were some friends of mine. Clear Channel in St. Louis let a bunch of people go a couple of weeks ago. This is a precarious business at this time. I had to move 300 miles away to find work. People have wondered how in the world I could do that but I can tell you that my father once told me that "you have to go where the work is". I know at least five people who would trade places with me in a heartbeat. I promise to never take this job for granted and to always do a break like it was the last one I would ever do. (Hell, it may be.)
May God bless my unemployed friends, especially my friend Brad, who's wife lost her job of 24 years the same day he lost his. I am lucky, I had to move but I still have a gig.
So for my friends Katey, Michelle, Kent (love ya bro), Jay, Vic, Trish, Mandy, Rob, Brad and anyone I have left out, I promise you, I will do the best I can to make you all proud of me. I'm lucky and I know it.

30 years ago today...

Tommy Bolin died. I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news. I was teaching radio school (I had just graduated and was employed at the time)and my friend Mike brought in the newspaper with the clipping. I thought this guy was going to be the next Jeff Beck. His CD "Teaser" still ranks (to me) as one of the all time over loooked and under rated CDs ever.
Died of a drug overdose. How sad.
RIP Tommy.

Song Stuck In My Head

This song has been stuck in my head since Monday of last week and I can't get it out, maybe a public forum will dislodge this thing and give it to you. I hope. And remember, no tag backs.

False Faces
Oil on canvas
Couplets and stanzas to divine who you are
Pencil portrayals and jealous betrayals
Get you further afar
(Chorus)
Oh, false faces and meaningless chases I travel alone
Oh, first places and calendar races I need a home
Hostile hotel walls, footfalls and phone calls
And you're on the line
Gentle coercions and bitter desertions
When the truth is a lie
(Chorus)
Lover twice yearly
That last battle nearly cost me the fight
Broke through the ice and got cut down to size
And escaped through the night
(Chorus)

Help! Please Stop!